I'm done...........

I'm all tapped out, people. You've taken everything and given nothing. I have absolutely nothing to say today. In fact, I'm going to talk about how I have nothing to say. How fudged up is that? Got my passport in the mail yesterday so I'm now free to move about the country. I'm in the system now. Big brother has a lock on my position and men in white coats are on their fucking way, right now! Where's Morpheus when you need him?
Here's a tidbit that's going to make me sound like a jerk but go fist yerself. I saw the tiniest engagement ring of my life at the bar last night. The messed up part is that it was on this pretty good looking chick. Her dude must have a huge johnson to comp for that tiny ring. I also got the privilege of watching a true hustler in action. Tommy Hilfiger sat down next to me and ordered a pitcher of beer and then asked the female bartender if she could "break a big bill". He was holding a $20!!!! I had the instant drunken urge to laugh him out of the bar but kept it inside. Instead I just gave him a rapist stare until he moved seats and this cool guy, Rob, sat next to me. Rob too had just moved to Indy from South Bend and actually lived in the same apartments as my homey/lover, Raul. Me and Rob.....no, Rob and I, shared a mutual hatred for all things ND and a love for tailgating. He was from somewhere in Africa so he had a cool accent and liked reggae music and Red Stripe beer.
I'm in a very salty mood for some reason today. I have this urge to just be a huge dick to whomever crosses my path. Not good b/c I have a 2nd date with the cool girl from the other day. You know what it is? I get bored with being nice. I have to walk on the wild side to feel alive. I need to test my mortality. I need to do something completely stupid and regrettable or I'm going to dry up into a pile of ash and blow away. There's a pond outside my cube window and I may go down there and try to catch a turtle or two today just to have something interesting to say. There's a tent party at Fox n Hound tonight and I may pick a fight just so I can be properly introduced to the Indy police. I don't know, its just a feeling that's come over me this morning. Honestly, and I've said this before, I feel that I need my ass whupped on a regular, if not daily, basis just to keep my demons in check.
I've got to go out of town for a bachelor party tomorrow but I'll try to blog before I leave just so people know I made it through the night ;-)