Rock The Vote!!!!

Obama in 2008!!!!! Get out and rock the vote, my people!!!!

Got anything to declare...............

If I knew the Canadian national anthem then I'd be singing it right now. As you can guess the strip club trip went swimmingly last night. Got a free shuttle there and back. Canada serves absinthe so I got to experiment with the green fairy drink but didn't see any fairies. Did two shots with the whole burning sugar cube deal-io. It was very much like rumplemintz. Anywho, it was fun experience that was topped off with this dancer crushing on me all night. She spied me on my way in and called dibs on me all night. I know they put on a bit of a show but she was digging me hard and I was enjoying the attention.

So, I woke up late and almost didn't check out in time. Then, they tried bending me over and charging me a $100 for a miscellaneous cigarette burn in my smoking room. I got that shit revoked cause I didn't burn anything. It was freezing cold out so I figured I'd just get the heck outta Canada and get back to the US. Well, I was thirty cents short of the toll so I had to pull more Canadian out when I had intentionally spent it all the night before so I wouldn't leave with any. Then, some random girl tried getting me to give her a lift cause she was freezing. I had to deny her cause it was my company car and didn't want to get into trouble with it. So, I finally get to the border patrol and just the same on my way in, the hottest border patrol I'll ever meet was raggin'. Maybe its just me. Maybe I just have a suspicious look to me. She was having trouble comprehending that I went to Canada for the weekend cause I was in Detroit for work. The worse part is that they ask so many questions that you begin to believe you've done something wrong and are just waiting to be caught. She really shook me up. I know they have a job to do but they could be more personable. I'm glad that my stupid side didn't take over cause now that I think about it, I could have had my company car impounded or destroyed and been tossed in jail.

Well, Canada, I'll see you around. Yeah, I'll be sure to write..........................

Oh, Canada............

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2008......you are my bitch.......

Wait, no, strike that and reverse it. I ended 2007 by sacrificing the "Glass Man" and victoriously drinking champagne from his dismembered head.

Wait, there I go again, skipping the beauty of life and going to drinking victoriously from my foe's heads. It's a GIRL!!!!!

And no, its not mine. Its my sister's. And again, NO, it's not mine. Nathalia Hayden Mittlestaedt was brought into this world in the early hours of the last day of the year, 5:43am December 31st 2007. Its was a wild ride. I drove from Indianapolis at half-time of the Colts game and hung out in a waiting room for six hours. Good times.

Back to 2008........... I suffered a parasitic infection in the begining of the year.

Medical science could not help me. I attempted to see eye to eye with the ailment but failed.

And was rightly punished.........

They're adorable when well fed and given lots of attention. I volunteered to watch my sister's pugs while she was recovering from child birth. The furry little bastards left a paw print on my heart. I miss them but not the task of walking them in the freezing weather ;-)

Anywho, enough of the pity party. This year is the big year for the High School Reunion. Ten years. Ten long years. I'm going to go but not for any satisfactorial reason. I know I haven't done much with my life, other than survive, so I guess I'll just go see who else has survived. And pour out a little liquor to those that didn't.

Well, any resolutions for 2008? Fuck no!!! Why make promises you know you'll break in a month? Kinda like "till death do us part". Ouch that was probably a bit over the top but fudge it. Things to do in 2008: drink less, love more, pay off debt, go postal at work, and............invent a sandwich.........

Money-money-money........MONEY!!!!..................

Britney Spears said it best, "Gimme More", and that's my story. Got a Christmas bonus today so Tiny Tim can get those new "magic" legs that Forrest Gump sponsors. Actually, I'm heading to Vegas in two days so I'll probably blow it all on strippers and beer. Yup, Bachelor Party part 2 is coming up. Part 1 was a ton of fun, from what I can remember. Ol' Mother Nature almost put da kalbosch on the festivities as the Mother of All December Shit-Storms decended on the region. Luckily, my boy drives a turbo-charged 1/2 ton dually. That's just giving Mother Nature the ol' stink-eye. However, she got me back as I broke my out-of-shape back shoveling snow for the Entertainers. All gave some........some gave all ;-) I am the Rambo of Bachelor Parties. Well, in other news, due to the arrival of a Crimbo Bonus, there will be gifts under the tree for all my loved ones at the Miller Lite Brewing Company..........j/k. You know what the best part of buying Xmas gifts is? Realizing that you're totally saving money on not having a significant other to buy for. You know what the worst part of buying Xmas gifts is? Realizing you don't have a significant other :-( Honestly, I bet that's why egg nog has an alcohol content. Drink away the pain and still keep the xmas spirit.........................

Aunt Flow's visit..............

Well, time for my monthly post. I'm sorry for being so delinquent. My home computer was being gay with an Internet Explorer add-on that was hijacking my shit. I'm virus free for the new year :-D
Anywho, so, what's happening? Well, same old same old with a dash of bitters. Work almost sabotaged my Thanksgiving and ruined my Black Wednesday. I'm very much looking forward to quiting this job. Not a good attitude to have but I'm on the back end of a sixty day bender so I really don't care. Got some up coming events that should be blog worthy. Got a company Xmas party this Friday, a bachelor party this saturday and a continuation of said bachelor party in Vegas next week. Then, there's the holidays. I am looking forward to the immediate future as I'm pug-sitting for my pregnant sister so I'll have a couple of hellions running my life. Honestly, I'm looking forward to the company. Its not that I haven't been getting out and about lately but I need a reason to stay in and relax, other than a severe hangover.
Anyhow, the downward spiral continues and again my apologies for not blogging lately. I'll put it in my new year's resolutions ;-)...............................

Back by unpopular demand..............

Well, I've been called out for not posting enough. Believe me, its not that I haven't had the content, just not the time. So, let's get a quick recap, Purdue football is blowing goats, my bro threw a killer halloween party, work is getting quirky and I just got back from Mexico City (see pics below). The love life is still non-existent. The apartment is still unpacked. Things left unsaid are.........um........unsaid. I think this post shall be a rant of epic proportions. You know my m.o., begin at the beginning and end at the end.

This football season's been fun. I made it to breakfast club a couple of times and it was great. Got some good pics and what not. Got a girl's number but couldn't remember our conversation from breakfast club.......awkward. Although, in my defense, starting drinking at 7:30am is not exactly a receipe for memory retention. Anywho, my uncle came out to one and had a blasty and couldn't stop talking about it. Good times. As for Purdue football, they need to pull their collective head out of their bums and play some football. BTFU!!!!!!!

I'm not going to lie, but writing is extremely hard today as I'm exhausted. But, the show must go on. So, my bro threw a halloween party after halloween which was perfect cause all costumes were half off the day after. I went as a giant condom wrapper. As always, we played beer pong until Rocky was beyond hope. Why is it that people who don't drink like to play and are always my partner so I have to get wasted. It was a good time. Oh, side note, I went to the Pacers game the night before and it too was fun. I saw Shaq and Larry Bird from a distance.

Work is getting nutso. A few people quit and management is all shifted all over. I went on a support trip with a co-worker that has a very lazy attitude and it was a disaster. Not for the customer cause I would never allow that to happen. I was so stressed by the end of it that I was ready to quit. I tried talking to my bro about it and he pointed out that I always have a problem with my co-workers and maybe its "me" not "them". I've thought a lot about it and he's loco. I'm sorry but when someone is supposed to be helping and instead remind you that they're leaving the trip early and half-ass it the whole time, it makes me homicidal. Luckily, I just went on another support trip with a co-worker that knows how to pull weight and it was a complete success and revitalized my work outlook. We'll get into that a bit later. I've just been getting pulled in a million directions at work at it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job. My boss, Dan, has been acting funny lately as well and its just not a good combo for me as I'm already a mess. He's hot and cold like day and night. Some days he's cool with me, other's he makes me feel like I'm worthless. Unfortunately, I look for his approval constantly. I know he has a lot going on with work and just getting married. Actually, the whole situation got me to start taking the only other single guy, Neal, out to hangout lately. Which is good b/c he's good people and has a lot of knowledge about the inter-workings of my office. Still, its just a pain at work lately. Even worse so, I'm getting better at my job and the better I get the more I'm mad at my co-workers for their lackluster approach to helping me understand the fundamentals of the product. Believe me, I'm not Superman at work but I know when to hit the grindstone and make life easier for everyone else. I know that everyone has differing work habits and I really need to start accepting that fact. I usually do so long as it doesn't affect my work directly. When it does, I'm not the nicest person (yikes!).

So, I had a bad match.com experience recently. This chick that doesn't have a clue was freaking me out by trying to figure out where I lived when I didn't know jack about her. She didn't even have pics posted on her profile so that made it worse. Honestly, she was wacko. If I had been a chick and her a dude, I probably would've reported her to match.com and been very upset. I was honestly thinking of carrying my piece to and from work just in case. I've almost been ready to give up on match.com. My mate, Neal, is also a member and as we've been hanging out more lately, we've been bouncing match business off each other, which is chicken soup for my soul. I've been sending out a bunch of emails to members and haven't gotten much of a response so that's been a bit of a disappointment. Can't rush love, right? Right????

So, I just got back from Mexico City where I was the Mexican that can't speak Spanish. Fun times, jerks. It was cool though cause I was supporting the last Champ Car race of the season with Neal. Like I said, I had to rebound from that last support trip. Neal's the head support engineer for Champ Car so he was all business and I was able to help out. I needed that confidence booster for work. Mexico City is a trip. I will never understand the traffic patterns. However, my limited exposure to Spanish did apply. We were able to try new restaurants every night. Even when the menu was entirely in Spanish, we were able to roll the dice and not have any food poisoning incidents. Actually, I was quite pleased with my ability to function in a foreign country with a language barrier. However, I was very happy to get home and get some good old Burger King ;-)

Supporting Champ Car was not easy, physically. As it was the last race of the season, there wasn't too many equipment problems. However, walking pit lane all day took a toll on me. Getting old I guess. There were many perks though. Champ Car Girls, Grid Girls and celebrities. I was inches from Frankie Muniz (Malcom in the Middle) and Paul Newman. Oh, side note, I was inches away from Ben Stein on my way out of Indy last Wednesday. He saw that I recognized him and he gave me a smile so I left him alone. He's much shorter in person than I imagined. Anywho, I was glad to get home. I was tired of saying "no español" everytime it was assumed I spoke Spanish. Plus, I was glad to drink beer instead of water but was tired of only drinking bottled drinks and no ice to avoid disease. See the funny, in my opinion, below about the hooker and the elevator and the Patriot's fan. http://www.faceofchampcar.com/

Well, the holiday season is upon us. Suicide season as usually. I've been thinking I should revise my match.com profile to ensure that no one wants a holiday date to avoid loneliness.........although, that's assuming someone would want to date me :-/ Anywho, random photos below. I promise to try to make more of an effort to my blog in the upcoming months. Thanks for reading................


"Oh, and Malcom in the Middle is much smaller in person. That's right, wenches, Frankie Muniz is a driver for the Formula Atlantics series which feeds into Champ Car. He was in the pit stand for the Pacific Coast Motorsports team. He hopes to race Champ Car next year. I thought I recognized him yesterday but he shaved the side of his head really weird and he's got a bad case of acne so I wasn't sure. Neal confirmed it today but I didn't bother him. He did walk right past my left shoulder and the top of his head barely reach my massive shoulder. Call me pathetic but I wasn't going to try for a pic or autograph cause I'm just not that impressed by most people. Also, as Ben will attest, I flew out of Indy on the same flight as Ben Stein on Wednesday. Actually, he was in the line next to me at American Airlines to get boarding passes. He saw I recognized him and smiled in my direction and I left him alone as well. Funny story, he was in line for the 1st class tickets and I was not and I got served before him ;-) As I boarded he was sitting in first class in the isle seat. Again, I didn't bother him cause I'm a dick in most ways, just not that way ;-) Oh and to top it off, a cute chick just winked at me as I got on the elevator. i wish i knew spanish :-/Oh, even funnier story, Neal and I find this classy looking restaurant for dinner and no one there speaks a lick of spanish. Luckily, I have mucho conjoes and a sense of reckless abandonment. We sit down, order our cervezas and stare at the all spanish menu. I repeatedly explained we speak English and the waiter had nothing for us. We order some "arracheras" or something that I thought looked familiar. True, we could've went with fajitas but bunk dat. honestly, my spanish resides from grandma going to the mexican grocery store and me finding out what we are eating. Turns out, we get these awesome flank steaks. I ordered poblano cause I was pretty sure that was "pepper" and I get a green pepper steak. Delicious. Well, the bill comes and I toss 'em my Pi credit card. Well, this guy, who was not our waiter, returns with my bill.........and pardon my english, speaking perfect fucking english!!!!!!!!! *charlie brown time* AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Where was dill-hole when Neal and I wanted to order food. The restaurant's credit card machine was broke. The bill was 428 pesos (ie $42). As I found out from Raul today, the farther away from the border the city, the less likely they are to take greenbacks. So, quite the pickle. Homeboy was happy to point out the nearest ATM, 3 blocks away, and let Neal and I leave the restaurant on the "honor system" to get cash from an ATM (which is only in spanish, YIKES!). Luckily for that restaurant, I've taxed my soul enough at this point in my life. We found a closer ATM and I went back and tossed them 450 pesos. Funnier so, Homeboy asked us where we were from and I said "Indianapolis" to which he responded "Go Pats!" for the Colts loss last Sunday. Only in El Mexico!!!! Oh, not all is fun and games, I busted my ass all day at the track and earned my din-din and cervezas. Oh, and I almost bought non-alcoholic beer from the store on the way back and the clerk, who knew i didn't know any spanish, sensed my liver and pointed out my error so i could go back and get some real cerveza (Tecate). Life probably gets better than this........but..........hahahahahahahaha...........I'm having fun ;-) "

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............................

Capital F to the U to the C to the big K. I've been marooned again. This time in Wichita of all places. I'm just mad cause I'm bored as hell. I could seriously scream my pathetic lungs out right now in the terminal just to see what happens. Ey-yi-yi, life just sucks. I get outta work early after getting my ass handed to me for a couple of hours only to leave the main airport bar cause of this really creepy guy that I didn't want to have to deal with only to find the next bar closes early cause Wichita is so small and po-dunk that they close their airport early on Saturdays. I swear if it wasn't for the free internet connection then I'd go insane. I'm just tired and stressed and fucking lonely. I am excited to go to Denver for the night and be "that guy" that has a 12 hour layover and gets a room for the night and goes to the seedy strip bar by the airport :-D Actually, I am pretty tired so I may just get a jacuzzi suite and plenty of booze and chill for the night. I have to be back at the airport at 5am so I'm not going to the LoDo for the night. I need to get back to Indy cause I'm supposed to be in a go-kart pit crew tomorrow. I'm the "Jack Man". I get to lift the back of the kart so the "Lube Man" can lube the chain. I may burn my face off in a horrible twist of fate ;-)
Anwho, the work trip happened at 4:58pm on Thursday and I left Indy at like 6am Friday so life's been shitty in that manner. I'm just super stressed cause I'm no ARINC 429 expert and have been getting my ass handed to me by people that should know more about it than me. I don't mind too much cause I'm like the ARINC-Deity now. Yes, I may bitchslap you in ways you didn't know possible. But still stressed..........so very stressed...................oh and to top it off, my virginal brother is getting more ass than me and he likes to brag about it :-/ Naw, you know I'm not that petty. Hats off to those taking their tops off ;-) Like I said the other day, I'm just bored.........so very bored.......................

Very bad indeed...............superBad.................

I woke up to the book of revelations written on my arm in eyeliner and blue pen. Thank God they don't tattoo you if you're drunk. Thank God for Chick-fil-A. Well, that was an interesting night. To say the least. I ended up putting my O.A.R. concert dvd on the tele and jamming until the wee hours of the night. Although I should've just called in sick, I'm at work and do not want to be. Actually, when do I ever want to be...............................

just a hint...........

going to be a very.............very...................bad.............night......................c u in da moring............

me homer? you marge?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...................did i ever tell you about the time I beat Nuclear security????????????? policy is that if you smell/reek of alcohol, then "for cause" testing immediately with revoke of unescorted access. well, 1 day I walk into the main gate house and had just popped a Listerene breathe strip to avoid offensive breathe due to the smoke I had on the drive in................a very important supervisor stopped me and a union fuckbag b/c he had smelled "alcohol" between da both of us on the way in....................too funny.............Me, being the brains of the operation ;-) quickly whipped out my pack of breath strips to prove to the undergraduate class of 1979 that me and douchebag were not in fact drunk but victims of a poor ploy to catch Al-Quida (sp?) hahahahahahahaha (ie bin ladin).....(ie alladin)......;-)
anywho, fock me.........fock you.......fock everyone..........pass da bottle..................

shiraz.....shiraz.......sherry..........

hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhaahhahahah.........................perhaps I am drunk..............perhaps I am not.................."She's The Man" might quite possibly be the funniest movie this decade.................perhaps not...........hahahahahahahahahaha.........................Yes, I have decided that my mind is no longer my own. Up is down..........Left is right..............Wrong is Wrong.........but................[yellow tail] Shiraz is delicious........................... ;-)

I fought the law and the law won................

Yup, I've finally drank myself stupid. I'm heading home after a long day of work and got diverted by some cops cause of a prior accident on "dead man's curve" on my way home. I needed new shoes so I stopped by Kohl's to check out the scene. Nuffin for me so I go to head to Shoe Carnival for a real deal. Well, as I carefully exit the parking lot, a two-fer happened. One, some dipshit was taking his sweet ass time coming down the main isle and Two, I had a brain fart. I decided to get out in front of the slow moving truck. Well, unfortunately, my light-weight front-wheel drive car likes to squeal tires in such a situation. Usually, I enjoy sounding like a BAMF! but today I heard someone yell out "Hey", to which I ignored and kept on going. Well, the Marion County officer caught up to me at the next red stop light. Unfortunately, the brain fart was still pending and I have been extremely bored with life in general these days. As I pulled over and prepared to face the officer, I decided I'm not going down without a fight. I was going to stand up for all of us regular joes that get a bad name from assholes that fuck-up like its their job. So, as the officer starts yelling, I start defending my position and explaining the physics of a Toyota Corolla. I remain in an exasperated tone the whole time as the cop keeps heating up. Yeah, no pity party for me. He drops out the ultimate attitude adjuster, "You wanna go to jail?!?!?!?!". I'm not going to even lie, I almost said "yes" just to break the monotony of my day. Instead, I turned into bitch-mode and apologized for everything and agreed with everything the big bad man had to say. Eventually, he did explain that he just came from the accident at Dead Man's Corner where a lady tailgating another car lost control and ran over the lawnmower guy. So, I did understand the copper's position that he'd seen enough today but still, I was in the mood for some jail time. He took my License and Registration back to his car for like two seconds, calmed down and then came back and in a copper way, validated that maybe I wasn't driving recklessly and had made a poor decision in the parking lot that was not worth jail time. Then, he opened his heart to me and explained how tired he was of the traffic-time shift cause of all the accidents he had to deal with and he was switching to third shift. Still, I remained in bitch-mode and gave him all the empathy and sympathy I could without physically handing over my testicles. I took my sweet time getting to the 'Carnival to get new work shoes and then some White Castles for din-din. Eh, rock bottom has never felt so much like home.................................

Oh, your parents would be so proud..........

Well, don't really feel like typing but got some interesting photos from breakfast club for the Purdue vs Central Michigan. It was a crazy morning (cause yes, that's how we do it in West Lafayette). Some dude tried claiming he was more "emo" than me to which I flashed him the spike studded bracelet on my left wrist that was going to be upside his head and he bowed the fuck down!!! BOILER UP!!!!!

So sad, what alcohol does on to the youth of today.............

Long over due..............

Well, sorry for the delay, readers. Life's been trippy, hombre. So much to tell, so very few keystrokes. Where to begin? I got back from the UK in one piece. You'll have to contact me or find me in person for the stories. I got back in time for my boy's father to pass on to a better place. God speed, Mr. Marcisz. Unfortunately, I was not able to make the funeral cause work was sending me off again. It wasn't work's fault, there was shit to do and I am expendable. They hooked me up and allowed me to leave early for Cali so that I could visit my boy, Lenzo, in Vegas. Now before you assume the worse, I wasn't going to Vegas for Vegas, I was going for some chicken soup for the soul. Lenzo and I had a great afternoon the day I left. Reminsing on old time, high school times. It was just great to have someone that knows me so well to talk to. He's been a second brother to me since he became friends with my brother, Ben. Its the little things that makes life tolerable. Ya know?
The traveling, well welcomed, has been taking its toll on me. Shit, I haven't seen the inside of a gym in like five weeks. Been drinking every night. Not out of spite but out of nothing better to do. As I left for yet another work trip, found out that my old high school friend that I haven't spoken to in a while took her own life. I don't know why, not that it matters, but just another brick in the wall. I really don't feel sad and could almost understand why. Fuck me for honesty, but sometimes this life is just harder than it has to be. All that goodwill talk about grass is green and better days, well that adds up to about jack shit most of the time. God speed, Jen Lunsford. May the good Lord take you into his good grace despite any fault.
So, work has been work. I've done my best to still hang with friends that I've made in Indy. Even that's been hard. Yes, it has made me wonder if maybe I need a different job. Nope, I just got to do what I'se gots to do. I found out today from my supervisor that the new VP appreciates me very much and likes me as a person. Good vibe. I also found out in the UK that I'm being taxed so much cause my supervisor doesn't want to do what I was hired to do. It was a bit disheartening cause I thought it would be me and him against the world..........as always, its me against the world. Same old same old. I can take it............I think.........I hope. I have been having some good times in Indy so not all is bleak. Its just hard sometimes trying to establish a life when I'm gone so much. Again, maybe its just what I have to do to get to better times. Or not. I know I'll figure it out.
Funny story, I got hazed in the UK :-D My boy, Dan, had an old photo of me from a Purdue breakfast club where I was cross dressing as a female and the guys in the UK made a "Wanted Dead or Alive" poster of it. Too funny.
Well, I guess there's more to tell but I don't really feel like it. Wait a minute, another good story. I had a support trip when I was in the UK and afterwards I was mending the long day at a pub when the Mexican in me came out and I g-ed (ie stole) an imperial pint glass to bring back to the UK. Then, I get back and Dan wanted to organized a scavenger hunt in a couple weeks. Well, I kept practicing and ganked an ash tray and pen from Fox n Hound. Again, the Mexican in me ;-) Hey, its all in fun and games. I had to sneak the ash tray out in the crack of my ass practically!!!!
Eh, life is what it is...................