So, where you been...........we've been right here all along.......

Okay, so sorry so long so gone..... :-(

Crap, five months really can slip by if you're not careful. Honestly, got tied up with work and Facebook (I'm addicted). I also cancelled my home internet service so that I can save money this year. Its not really working but at least I'm not dumping $100 a month for service I use 15 minutes a day. So, what have I been up to? Well let's catch up for a minute.

February ended with a bit of craziness. The broad that I met earlier that month kept standing me up and then finally met up with me for Mardi Gras only to drive me all over town at 80 mph while intoxicated....all the time whisper "Rocky, don't worry.....I'm a really good driver....".

In March, I went to New Orleans to celebrate my birthday and St. Paddy's day. First time being in Louisiana. Lot's of fun, rain, drink and creole food. The drive sucked though and I got sick when I got home. I went on a couple of last minute work trips that sucked ass. I think I met a couple new girls that immediately sold me out.

In April, I did some sales training at work, even though I despise salesmen. Took a trip to Phillidelphia for work, first time being in that part of the country. My company changed names to Cosworth Electronics which rolls off the tongue way easier. I tried dating my bartender but she proved impossible to ever meet up with outside of the bar. Then, my new, upstairs neighbor flooded my apartment bathroom with his toilet water. He almost got a beat-down for that one.

May began with a dog walk in Chicago. Unfortunately, Pugs have limited mobility by nature, and even less if they're pudgy. Then, I went back to Philly cause I missed the crappy weather. I met another girl and she dismissed me a week later but then the next day met another girl and she stood me up a couple of weeks after that ;-)

June started with a week work trip to North Carolina and my grandma going to the hospital. Everythings cool now but it was a scary time. Then, I did a one-nighter to South Bend to visit my boy, Raul, for a Corby's night where I ran into my old bartender, Sarah, who moved back from Fort Wayne. I gave her my email addy but have yet to hear from her :( The rest of June was spent trying to get as much sun as possible to get a tan :)

Anywho, so, again, sorry for my absence. I'll do better this go around. This year is about to get crazy with a couple of stag parties and weddings in about six weeks time total. I also volunteered to help my cousin drive his car back from Beverly Hills in August. Should be a wreck of a time. Work is sucking pole like every day. I need to quit this job and get to a place that would make me happy. I'm locked into my apartment for another year and then it's on like the break of dawn. I'll keep you posted.........

Here's a face-melt photo of me and my goddaughter........

Scratch that and reverse, reverse.....

Do the Charlie Brown! Okay, so its Tuesday and just wanted to apologize for the rant yesterday. Sometimes, on Monday, I forget to attach my man-parts before leaving the house :-/

Important story that I keep forgetting to bring up.....or maybe I keep forgetting as I have to have my memory wiped clean after every occurance.......either way, there is an outbreak of old dude junk at the gym these days. It's freaking me out but apparently, old dudes' everywhere want all young dudes to see their "shh-mack", their "cash and prizes", their "twig n berries". Honestly, its quite disgusting and against the YMCA locker room policies. There are signs everywhere that clearly state "cover up and wear a swim suit in the whirlpool". And here's the thing, I'm brash enough to open my mouth and tell someone to "put the dick away" but there's no good ending to getting into an altercation with a nakid dude. I have had some positive proactive issues with the YMCA. I bitched about the lack of people cleaning up the free weight area so they opened up their pocketbook and hired someone to do so. However, I don't know how to tell them they need to hire a "Naked Policeman"........err, wait, no, I mean..............sigh..............

Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.........

Ever have one of those existential days that leave you more depressed than when the day started? Me too. But, only on the days that end in "y". Maybe its just the state of everything going on in the world or maybe its recent developments within my own life but even as topsy-turvy as it gets, I still feel like I'm standing still while the world sorts stuff out and I'm still at the starting line. Maybe its just a case of the Mondays or maybe I've grown female parts.....or maybe its Michael Bolton on my Ipod.

Anywho, been a bit since I last blogged. Since last I was here, I tried to stop the dude-love by finally resigning my match.com membership. I thought that would've been difficult as I was addicted but I swapped out match.com for Facebook.com and am still hooked on the white horse. Facebook has been fun but too many people I didn't even talk to in my past are trying to be my friend. Probably cause they want to up their friendship numbers. Always the bridesmaid never the bride, I guess.

One of my personal goals this year was to end the "man-dates". Not having much luck. I went out with one chick that tanked on the second date. But on my most recent man-date, the server thought I was cute and dropped me her number. Of course this pissed off my mate who's comment was "All you have to do is just show up...". In my defense, I've been in the gym like 5 nights a week and I finally got a hair cut, no more shaggy dog, so I was looking pimped by all measures. Anywho, I went out with the server last week but am doubtful of any good outcomes.

Actually, I'm not going to lie, today's f*ck-pie started with my waking up alone and wondering when am I going to get back into a real relationship and then turning the blade over and thinking how much I hate real relationships and their bullshit. Then, a facebook friend of mine, who is this hot girl I met at breakfast club in 2007, posted a status that I commented on and she commented back and I got to checking out her profile and was pissed that she lives in San Fran as we had originally hit it off. Point being, when do I get my hot chick to share in my shitty life in Indianapolis. I'm mean, come-the-f*ck-on, already. I've got cheap furniture, a crappy job that constantly causes heartburn, four food items in my fridge and no real hope of bettering myself other than constantly working out as its all I can afford to do these days. What girl wouldn't want a piece of that? Exactly. Beeping exactly.........

Okay, not going to end on a sour note. Had some fun this year with the man-dates. Went to a hockey game, monster truck rally, Pacer's game and some general bar-hopping. Going to Naw 'Leans in March for St. Paddy's day so that should be fun. Hopefully, I'll get to New York this spring and cruise the Big Apple. Got to really shake-n-bake this year and have some fun. Peace..........

I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious.............

NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!! Why? Why would I want to know that? Match.com, in their infinite wisdom, let a dude match himself with me. Granted Match.com isn't exactly batting .500 with all the "ugos" and "what-the-fuck" they sent my way but there's a line and they crossed it. Maybe they're mad at me for finally cancelling my membership after two years of loyal service. I'm not going to lie, I was addicted. I was checking my profile every hour hoping that one "10/10" would send me a wink or email. Actually, a couple did and every time it would turn out that the profile was fake and promoting "seekintimacy.com". Yeah, I would report those profiles every time.........and then weep a little :'-/ Honestly, I thought it would be hard to quit but thankfully Match.com turns off like every important feature the minute you no longer have a paying membership. Kinda cold turkey but it was what I needed. I need to turn off the email alerts to avoid any more dude-on-dude action.

Not that the chick-on-dude action is doing me any favors these days. So, I go out with my new found friend on Saturday. I rushed my friends through an Indiana Ice hockey game thinking I was going to have this awesome time with this girl. Like a 7 year old boy on Christmas morning opening a package of socks and underwear. You ever have a moment where you are in a room full of people and know you're entirely alone? Well, I have a lot of those and this was no worse except to add insult to injury she took off to go play a bowling arcade game and left me with her friends for about 30-40 mins before I used the pugs as an excuse to leave. It's not that I'm not a fun person or capable of enjoying a night out. Hell no it's not that at all. And I'm no "old fashioned" date-er. I'll hit it and get when the opportunity arises. Here I am trying to get to know this girl who apparently knows every bartender in the Indianapolis metro area, is divorced, drives a Lexus, and is on the other side of 30 years old, and she abandons me. Maybe she was expecting more of a "party boy" out of me. However, I know better than to shit where I eat. As a person, she didn't intimidate me at all. However, I've got better common sense then to screw over the hot girl with the guy friends that all wish they were boyfriends. Well, no loss as she had the personality of a bar towel. Good to be getting back in the game.

Note: I say this now but chances are she'll call me in a day or two and want to hang out and I'll be a puppy dog on a leash.......batshit crazy........just how I like them..................

Horseshoes and Handgrenades..............

That's the only time close counts. They say history is doomed to repeat itself and I almost became a self-fulfilling prophecy yesterday. I came back from lunch after hearing that California was going, as a state, bankrupt and incited a political/financial conversation with my co-workers. I was making some points to a dumbass co-worker about the general state of the economy and how everyone in our company could be laid off any moment (ie nothing's secure). Not two minutes later, everyone was called into the conference room........well, everyone minus the three people that got laid off while I was at my lunch break. Before the Christmas break, we were informed that bonuses, raises and the Company party was cancelled directly due to the tank in the economy. As mad as that made me, I was starting to see the writing on the wall and basked in the consolation prize of still having a job. Yesterday, that became more than a consolation prize, it became the Grand Prize. I know its been almost two years since I got laid off from Actia and moved to Indy and started this blog but I'm still shell-shocked. I've been a rogue engineer for this company, doing whatever odd jobs necessary to justify my existence. I think a recent project I took on is the only reason I didn't make the list. Knock on wood. What makes matter's worse is that two of the people on the list have family's, one just had a new baby a few months back. I also found out through some connections that the list got shuffled around a few hours before being enacted. I know that my opinion doesn't matter but it sucks when people that are trying to make a difference get gone in place of those that bring the company down. Again, its only my opinion.
On a positive note, had a date with my new found friend the other night. The jury's still out but at least I'm getting back in the game.
It's going to be a long winter......................

The hunt is on.....

I went out for a night on the town with some friends that I hadn't seen in a while this past Saturday. We went to an upscale bar in Broad Ripple that is for late 20s early 30s folks (ie plays music from the 90s that only we would know). I was out for a few hours dancing the night away when I decided to call it a night and go home. Well, it was still early, like 1am, and a pop-in to the Fox n Hound has never hurt me. So, I drop in and the place is kinda quiet. I grab a seat at the bar next to the Mega Touch video game machine. I order up a beer and decide to drop a few dollars in the Mega Touch. I'm playing some game that required my attention when this girl comes up to me and starts chatting like we're old college buddies and haven't seen each other in a couple weeks. Out of sheer curiosity, I play along and keep the conversation going. I also notice that another girl has flanked me on my left side and is chatting some bloke at the bar. Eventually, my game ends and my new friend wants to introduce me to her friend (on my left). Then, the first friend fucks off and leaves me with 2nd new friend. Turns out, these ladies saw me in the Hound on New Years day, watching the Rose Bowl, and the 2nd friend called "dibs" on me to all her girlfriends but I had left that day before she could talk to me. To make matters more awkward, this girl knew everybody in the bar so I had all kinds of eyes on me watching my every move. Strangely, even less awkward, we were playing the Penthouse Photo Hunt on the Mega Touch for like 1.5 hours. Really made for a crazy finish to the night. I think the moral of the story is to never pass up on a bar and always stay later than you originally planned so as to not miss out on a future "Mrs. Wrong" ;-) Yeah, this girl reminds me of a girl from my past but that's a story for another time.............

I swear I know you from somewhere...................

Ever have one of those days........or week............or life where you wonder would anyone notice if you just stopped showing up? I'm the type of guy that wears headphones all day long to blot out the ambient bull in the office. Most people don't bother trying to talk to me unless its work related or its lunch time and they want me to drive. So, as I wander through my meek existence like that geeky-timid chick from "What Women Want", I sometimes wonder if anyone would even notice if I went missing. Due to a recent aggressive gym schedule, I didn't style my hair today cause there was no point. I got stopped by almost everyone in the office, asking me what's up with my hair. Apparently, I'm the "hair guy" and unless my do is up off my forehead, the day cannot go on. I was almost sent home to get my shit together. No gold star for me today :-(

Sooooooooooo...............I guess I've been a bit absent................awkward.......... Well, let's sum up the past couple of months. Did a little dance, forgot to make a little love, pretty much got down tonight. For real, October was okay. I had the daunting task of organizing my brother's girlfriend's birthday party so he could focus on proposing to her. She said "yes" but I sensed the hesitation ;-P No matta cause now I'm officially the "Last Man Standing"...........which is so sad that I weep whilst typing. Halloween was pretty cool also that month. November started good with Purdue making Michigan their collective bitch in football. I took some vay-kay and went to Balitmore to see the Notre Dame vs Navy game. We got rained on and some Navy fans took pity on us and shared their tailgate. I caught a cold and in an effort to get more vay-kay I worked myself to the bone and was sick the entire week of Thankgiving. You know they say "whiskey cures a cold".....well turns out it takes a whole fifth of Jack to make the "magic" happen ;-)

Well, now brings us to December. I've been taking more vay-kay but in my absence the "Powers that Be" at work decided the economy tanking is my fault and the entire office got denied an Xmas bonus, an Xmas party and a pay raise for next year. The beatings will continue until morale improves........... Actually, I took it upon myself to improve morale and organized a Xmas happy hour with my coworkers. We had a decent turn out and all agreed it was best that we did something as a company. Now, I'm one day away from the last day of work for me in 2008. I'm so excited.........I'm scared............

Saving the world........one gas cap at a time.......

King me, baby......
So, I'm trying to leave Utah to get back to Hammond for my high school reunion when I'm called upon to save the day. Some lady at the gas station had twisted her locking gas cap on crooked and I had to call upon the power of my bulging biceps to wrestle it free ;-) I'm chillin' at the Grand Junction airport right now. Got to the airport 3 hours early just to be sure I get home for my reunion. I'm kinda looking forward to it. I hope everyone's grown up since high school. The jury's still out on that one.
So, this week was spent in lovely, middle-of-nowhere Moab, UT. On the road again with AM General to do some off-road testing. And to further my bleeding ulcer. We drove the long way from Denver, CO to Moab, UT and broke down like three times due to electrical issues. I got to drive an H1 for the last 3 hours of the trip. The portion that went up "suicide pass" through the Rocky Mountains. I found it hilarious how the portion of road with death valley to the immediate right was not equipped with a guard rail but the portion with a small run-off ditch was equipped. Luckily, there wasn't much traffic as an H1 is not the thinnest of vehicles.
We had a whole week of off-roading with data collection ahead of us. The team was expanded to include people that felt the desire to drive the test trucks. Think 10 Chiefs and 2 Indians. A cluster-fuck of massive proportions. I spent 2 hours configuring and testing a wireless setup on the first test day only to have Windows go brain-dead on me at the crucial moment. Then, two lunchboxes that I've worked with this whole time got on the CB radio and my personal cell to jump on my case about it. Mind you, our day was already delayed by everyone else in the group but when my turn came, it was a big deal. I'll admit that I'm tired and stressed from work lately but these asshats know that I run the data logger and we test when I'm ready. I was seriously considering renting a car and jumping on a plane and going home as I don't need this stress but I stuck through. Then, on day 2, amateur hour hit about high noon and we broke one truck severely. "Boys' and their toys" was my way of putting it. The original game plan was to not overly stress the trucks and just back down from any event that was proving difficult. Someone forgot to inform the driver as he destroyed a transfer case and rear differential. Good thing we were 2.5 miles from the park entrance. I did my part in helping out getting gear from the base station but I'm no mechanic so after a couple of stranded hours I caught a ride out of the park and back to my hotel room. They ended up abandoning the truck in the field as daylight ran out. On the way back to the base station, another newbie broke the transfer case on the test truck. Stuck in low gear 5 miles from the base station. Long, slow drive back with our blinkers on.
Yesterday, everyone took off without giving any clear direction to the data guys so we ended up doing a little number crunching and then wasting away at the hotel all day. I went for a run and hit the weight room. I caught a super-marathon on CSI-NY so that was good. In the evening, I was chilling with the semi-truck drivers and the rest of the data guys. The truck drivers cooked us dinner cause I bought lunch at a chinese buffet. When the guys finally got back to the hotel, the news was still bad and the trucks were still down. No matta to me cause I'm going home for the weekend and flying back out to Vegas to meet back up with them on Monday. However, now they may stay in Moab an extra day so that just gives me a vay-kay day in Vegas with my boy, Lenzo, on AM General's dime. Fine with me.
I guess I don't have much sympathy for them cause I've spent the whole summer working my butt off on that truck and the young engineers that are my friends don't show any respect for the work I do. I know sometimes they are just messing with me and I've got my heart on my sleeve. I'm just to the point where I have to say "I don't care" or go into cardiac arrest.
Anywho, below are some pics from the trip so far. I can't show any pics of the test truck as its a life in prison sentence and hefty fine. Enjoy.......................

BTFU!!!!

Boiler Up, baby!!!! Last Saturday we kicked off the 2008 Boilermaker Season. I'm not going to lie.......it got a little nutty. Ankles were sprained.......sunburns acquired.........families re-united........and the Boilermakers kicked some arse!!!! Sure, Northern Colorado might be the equivalent of a high school football team but we sure handed them their collective butts. Kudos to Ben and Gennie for making kick-ass shis-ka-bobs. Kudos to me for beating everyone (ie myself) in flippy-cup. Kudos to the sun for burning our raw flesh. My shoulder is almost done with its "leprosy" phase and may return to 3rd degree burn in the next six months :-/ Good times at Purdue as always. I've got a cousin that just started school their, which means I've got a hook up for partying for the next 4+ years ;-) Naw, as my brother put it, we getting old. Not too old but old enough to not run with this college kids anymore.
As always, my weekend got cut a few hours short by work. I had to duck out early on Sunday (after I awoke from my alcohol coma) to get back to Indy to get a rental car to drive to my 2nd home (Detroit) for a meeting on Monday. Here's a bit of good advice, if you take a day off of work, don't check your work email. I was intending to be in Detroit only monday but because I checked my email on my day off (Friday), I was now committed to 3 days in the "D". Worse yet, the meeting on Monday justified me not needing to be there so I jumped over to AM General for a day on Tuesday and then had to juggle the new customer, AMG and an Aviation customer on Wednesday. I don't think I have a stomach lining anymore. Actually, sub-consciously, I've been clenching my jaw due to stress and my jaw is sore like a $3 street-walker. Anywho, so, back on the road again. Got home for a few days this week. Leaving tomorrow........on a jet plane.........don't know when I'll be back again..........well.......actually, I'll be back on Sunday but that ruins the point ;-) Fudge it, here's some photos.........enjoy...............

I'm baaaaaccccckkkkkkk.....................

I apologize for my eventful absence but I've been on the road for a very, very long time. So, I'm going to attempt to rack my brain for the sordid details of the past three months and summarize.
Yesterday: Daddy finally got a new pair of shoes for his g-ride. Translation: I went to Discount Tire and finally got new tires. I was able to put this one off since March of this year as I was renting enough cars that I only needed to drive mine to the bars and back when in town. After that, I spent the evening with some friends at a Ribfest in downtown Indy and then did a little bowling and saw a comedy show. Mucho fun-o.

Friday: Was one of like three people at work. Took a long lunch with my old supervisor, Dan. Hit up the YMCA after work. Nothing like communal showers and a bunch of old dudes wandering around nakid. I've gotten smart about getting back in shape these days and have been taking advantage of spa time to keep the muscles relaxed. I caught "Pineapple Express" afterwards and then went to Fox n Hound for a nite cap. Funny, my old crew got fired except one guy so I don't know any bartenders. Or so I thought. One bartender looked a bit familiar. He used to bar-back back in the day and finally turned 21 so now he's the Man.

Last week: Sunday got in some good sun and booze at the pool. Made a couple of single serving friends and went to dinner with them at Fox n Hound. 1st time I've been back there since April. The old crew got fired so I don't have the hook-up over there anymore. Probably a good thing. I joined the YMCA through work on Monday. I put on about 10lbs drinking and stressing work all summer in Detroit. Got a 10 year High School reunion coming up. I'm going mainly to let everyone know I'm still alive. Plus, I figure I haven't done shit in the past ten years that would warrant my absence from a reunion.

Week before last: I spent the week at the Chrysler Proving Grounds in Chelsea, MI wiht AM General for work. I've been working too much lately and had a major brain breakdown. I was messing around with one of my friends from AMG and wrote "Kyle Sucks!!" in spray chalk on the ground. It was pretty funny but the project leader got a little upset. I went to wash it off and it turns out temporary spray chalk is more permanent than one would think. I bought a grill brush and got it cleaned up. Its good to get in a little trouble from time to time as it reminds one to behave. Work was good and productive that week. More than its been in a while. The project leader is kinda of scatter-brain and doesn't manage the project very well. He likes driving the truck more than doing his job in my opinion. Normally, I wouldn't care so long as I get my work done but this project has worn me thin so I'm burned out on patience.

Week before that: I had to go to Canada for work. I left from Detroit from AMG. My boys at AMG had messed up my rental car the friday before and luckily I put it back together before crossing the border. The patrol was doing a "blitz" on single passenger vehicles. I got searched and had to go through Customs. Work fucked me again and I show up to a customer with a software solution that had no chance in hell of working. Way to go Dan for setting that one up and then quiting. It really burns when people I have to rely on half-ass it. Canada was okay except they kept focusing on the Candian Olympians instead of the Americans like they should have. I heard a blip on the radio on my way back and Canada was claiming that American fast food will kill you and for Canadians to not immigrate over. Kool with me.

Week and a half before that: I had to go back to AM General to refurbish some of the equipment cause we're taking the truck on a three state tour of Colorad, Nevada and Utah in September. I was back with my AMG boys. I've become good friends with a few of them and get out in the evenings for general debauchery. At this point, I'd been on the road about three weeks straight so it was time to hit up a "gentlemen's club". Good old 8 mile. Its weird but Livonia, MI is starting to feel more like home than Indy. I need to get back and stay put for a bit, badly.

Week before that: My supervisor quit and left me with a bunch of work to do. I was hoping that the exhibit at the EAA show in Oshkosh, WI would be cancelled but instead work decided to that I was expendable and capable enough to run the show by myself. Yeah, big F-U Pi. I took the opportunity to make a pit stop on the way up to see my Goddaughter. She's getting big and adorable as ever. I think I have a face-melt picture I can insert here.

Oshkosh was okay. I'm not big into airplanes and was mostly doing work for AMG on my laptop the whole time. I told Pi that I'm in no way trying to be a sales engineer. My brother and uncle were able to come up and catch the show. We got to see the F-22 do its thing and some really cool warbirds with some pyrotechnics of C-4 and gasoline.

Week before that: I was finally back in Indy for a few days. Had to catch up with a lot of people. Work made me take two days off. Didn't matter, customers called my cell phone with shit for me to do. Got to get in some sun at the pool so that was good. Went to see Batman at an IMAX. That movie rocked!!! I was surprised to see that it was PG-13. Even without the blood and gore it was an awesome movie. I think the franchise is doing well without blood n guts. Its a shame Heath Ledger is dead. I swear hollywood actors need a frigging babysitter 24/7 to keep them alive.

Week before that: I went to Chippewa, South Bend, IN for some good old off-roading with AMG. I was piggy-backing this trip with a trip to Mid-Ohio to support an IRL race. I mis-calculated my travel time and had to drive 5 long hours after working all day with AMG to get to the middle-of-no-where Ohio. But I was supporting with my buddy, Neal, so I didn't mind it. It was a good race weekend and I elbowed Danica Patrick on accident in the boob area. My 15 seconds of fame. She's tiny in real life and walks around like a jerk. I'd still give her the time of day ;-)

Week before that: Spent more time at AMG working on the truck. My supervisor put in his 2 week's notice. I saw it coming. Pi is jerking new business individuals around so there's not much point in staying to sell shit that won't work outside of a race car. I'm going to hang in for a bit. Not cause I like Pi all that much but I want to be settled for a bit and I like Indy.

Okay, I've been writing and watching a movie for over an hour so I'm going claim a mental shutdown and end this post. I'll toss a bunch of random photos from the "Summer of George".....................

If not for bad luck I would have none...........

Well, they finally did it.......they finally killed my car. So, in the on-going epic battle between Ford F150 and Toyota Corolla, another sacrifice has been made. I'm chilling at my friend's house last night for a house warming, having a good old time. One of her friends has to move his truck from a neighbor's parking spot. Lunchbag decides the best maneuver would be a loop-de-loop-hook-n-ladder in reverse at 25 mph in pitch black conditions. Luckily for me, an Indigo Pearlescent Corolla stands out on a small, dark street. I'm sitting outside and hear/see a red flash of a truck going down the street and then a loud impact followed by a car alarm. I didn't have to get up to know it was my car. My car that I just paid off last month (ink is still wet on the title). So, I go shut off my alarm and assess the damage. The driver was a friend of my friend and I had just met him that day. He knew he'd focked up bad. I didn't think he was drunk but had made a bad decision to drive a monster truck in reverse down the street at 1am. Well, the neighbors start pouring out and what not, gotta make a scene. Strangely enough, I wasn't mad. The driver was kool and nothing was going to reverse the damage. I wasn't drunk or anything, I was just mellow. I guess I knew it was going to happen sooner or later since I paid off the car. I also think what kept me cool was that I had other things to worry about, like the work trip to Detroit this week and two little pugs in my apartment that needed me to get back to them and not go to jail for a stupid reason. The driver and I got together and he said he wasn't drunk and it was ok to call the cops. His friend wanted to wait a while to let him get some coffee in him or something. I was ok with waiting an hour or so but not much longer as I didn't want to mess up any insurance bullshit. So, the driver said to go ahead and get the police and a flat bed out there so I did. Well, the cops smelled booze on the driver and he blew a 0.094 b.a.c. The cops were cool about it and took him to the station but took their sweet time so he could sober up b/c if he passed the breathalyzer at the station then he'd be let free. It didn't matter to me as I had no ill-will against the guy, again I was in some kind of zone. So, the cops get me a flat bed to get my car out of there and Ashley said I could stay the night. I gathered some of my personal stuff out of my car and turned off the alarm. I was heading back towards the party as the cops were taking the driver away and his buddy comes up to me and tells me I best get walking to wherever it is I got to go. This douchebag (in the white t-shirt in the pics above) was picking fights with people all night long and now it was my turn. I reminded him that it wasn't his house and he reminded me that he didn't care. I told him I was sorry bout his friend but his friend also told me to call the cops so it wasn't my problem. He tried acusing me of telling the cops some bullshit even though I didn't say two words about the accident to the cops and only had to tell them what to do with my car. Again, I wasn't looking for trouble this night as I had a lot of responsibilities to get back to and now had to deal with getting my car taken care of so I told the douchebag "whatever" and went to find Ashley. Well, in the chaos her dog had run off and she was too pre-occupied to help me out with douchebag. I asked the neighbors about getting me a cab so I could get back to my house, a good 30 miles away, and one of the young dudes offered to drive me back. They were some cool guys that that douchebag tried picking a fight with earlier so they had sympathy for me. As I get ready to leave I realize that I left my apartment keys in my car cupholder. The hits keep on coming. I had the fella drive me to the hotel around the corner from my apartment so that I would at least be close in the morning to get to the pugs. I checked in and immediately called my insurance to see what it was I should be doing regarding my car. Got my claim filed and what not but its going to be difficult as I'm out of town all week for work. So, I try to get some sleep and wake up early to walk to my apartment main office to get the master keys for my apartment only to find out that they don't open till noon on sundays. Beautiful. Well, I still needed to rent a car and the Avis was only open from 9am-Noon. I tried to call everyone I knew in the local area only to realize I really don't have that many friends or people I can count on. So, my options were a 2.5 mile walk or a taxi cab. 4-1-1 screwed me over and gave me some bunk cab numbers so I called my friends in Avon cause I knew they'd be awake at 9:30am. They gave me some cab numbers that didn't pan out but my co-worker returned my call and saved my ass. I got a rental and got back to my apartment to a couple of pugs that were extremely happy to see me for potty-time. Ashley got back to me later this morning and the driver didn't get a DUI, which I was happy about b/c accidents happen. It does suck that I might have to get a new car as I was so excited about not having car payments for at least a couple of years. Hopefully, insurance decides to fix the car as it looks mostly like body damage since the truck bumper is much higher than my engine. There wasn't any leaking fluids so that was a good sign.

Anywho, life's been a bit stressful and shitty lately. When it rains, it pours..................

Rock The Vote!!!!

Obama in 2008!!!!! Get out and rock the vote, my people!!!!

Got anything to declare...............

If I knew the Canadian national anthem then I'd be singing it right now. As you can guess the strip club trip went swimmingly last night. Got a free shuttle there and back. Canada serves absinthe so I got to experiment with the green fairy drink but didn't see any fairies. Did two shots with the whole burning sugar cube deal-io. It was very much like rumplemintz. Anywho, it was fun experience that was topped off with this dancer crushing on me all night. She spied me on my way in and called dibs on me all night. I know they put on a bit of a show but she was digging me hard and I was enjoying the attention.

So, I woke up late and almost didn't check out in time. Then, they tried bending me over and charging me a $100 for a miscellaneous cigarette burn in my smoking room. I got that shit revoked cause I didn't burn anything. It was freezing cold out so I figured I'd just get the heck outta Canada and get back to the US. Well, I was thirty cents short of the toll so I had to pull more Canadian out when I had intentionally spent it all the night before so I wouldn't leave with any. Then, some random girl tried getting me to give her a lift cause she was freezing. I had to deny her cause it was my company car and didn't want to get into trouble with it. So, I finally get to the border patrol and just the same on my way in, the hottest border patrol I'll ever meet was raggin'. Maybe its just me. Maybe I just have a suspicious look to me. She was having trouble comprehending that I went to Canada for the weekend cause I was in Detroit for work. The worse part is that they ask so many questions that you begin to believe you've done something wrong and are just waiting to be caught. She really shook me up. I know they have a job to do but they could be more personable. I'm glad that my stupid side didn't take over cause now that I think about it, I could have had my company car impounded or destroyed and been tossed in jail.

Well, Canada, I'll see you around. Yeah, I'll be sure to write..........................

Oh, Canada............

Here, I sit, with my Havana Cuban cigar to my left and my Alexander Keith's Red Amber Ale to my right. God bless Canada. So, how did I find myself in the land of Canucks? Well, work finally sent me to Detroit for a installation on an AM General truck and the schedule kept slipping so I didn't get to MI till Thursday afternoon and have to be here next week as well. So, I figure why drive the 5 hours back to Indy when Canada is 22 minutes away. Last time I was here was in 2002 for NYE. And to be completely honest, I missed out on going to a strip club that year so here I am to avenge myself and get my "International Strip Clubber" stamp in my passport.

However, every journey has to start off with setbacks. As I've only driven to Canada once before, I was uwaware of the status quo for getting into the country. Well, being myself as always, I was texting my peps (ie the only two people that care enough to keep in contact with me) and I missed out on a stop sign at the border gate. Well, apparently, Lil Miss Border Patrol was on a six-month rag cause she was all kinds of shitty with me. It began with the typical "what about that stop sign did you not understand?" and follows up with a knockout punch of "see how all the other cars are stoppped?". I felt that she then added a ton of attitude to all of the required questions. As I already felt like an ass for missing the stop sign and a bit of a victim as it was an honest mistake, I just played bitch and tried to answer her questions with sincerity. Of course she didn't lay off. I'd like to say that this story ends with me going to the clink for missing a stop sign but I was too focused on getting in to the country. I didn't even have a hotel room booked but had a game plan and a TomTom so all was good. Got a room in downtown Windsor on "Party Alley". There's two massage parlors across the street that I might inquire about later ;-)

I went out clubbing last night. Its funny to see everyone get excited about celebrating a 19th birthday as opposed to a 21st. I'll give it to these Candian girls. They don't feel the cold. These ladies were out in short dresses and open toes all night. I'll give it to the Candian boys as well cause they all dress like frat fags so it only makes me look better ;-) Also, what's the deal with all of the Lebanese in Canada? I swear I saw a female suicide bomber at Wal-Mart. Anywho, I was getting my drink on last night and it was a crazy corona festival in Windsor. I get a quart Corona for $5 and forgot that Canada uses $1 coins and looked like a baller by giving the beer tub bitch a $5 tip in coin. However, I made amends by buying two more beers and not tipping ;-) I eneded the night at a dead bar attached to my hotel where in a drunken fashion I tried to use sleight-of-hand to steal a cool looking shot glass and almost got caught. Marvelous ;-)

Well, tonight's the night so I'll let ya'll know how it goes. If I don't post tomorrow then I got sold into the forced sex industry and am having a good time. Think fondly of me during the holidays.......................

2008......you are my bitch.......

Wait, no, strike that and reverse it. I ended 2007 by sacrificing the "Glass Man" and victoriously drinking champagne from his dismembered head.

Wait, there I go again, skipping the beauty of life and going to drinking victoriously from my foe's heads. It's a GIRL!!!!!

And no, its not mine. Its my sister's. And again, NO, it's not mine. Nathalia Hayden Mittlestaedt was brought into this world in the early hours of the last day of the year, 5:43am December 31st 2007. Its was a wild ride. I drove from Indianapolis at half-time of the Colts game and hung out in a waiting room for six hours. Good times.

Back to 2008........... I suffered a parasitic infection in the begining of the year.

Medical science could not help me. I attempted to see eye to eye with the ailment but failed.

And was rightly punished.........

They're adorable when well fed and given lots of attention. I volunteered to watch my sister's pugs while she was recovering from child birth. The furry little bastards left a paw print on my heart. I miss them but not the task of walking them in the freezing weather ;-)

Anywho, enough of the pity party. This year is the big year for the High School Reunion. Ten years. Ten long years. I'm going to go but not for any satisfactorial reason. I know I haven't done much with my life, other than survive, so I guess I'll just go see who else has survived. And pour out a little liquor to those that didn't.

Well, any resolutions for 2008? Fuck no!!! Why make promises you know you'll break in a month? Kinda like "till death do us part". Ouch that was probably a bit over the top but fudge it. Things to do in 2008: drink less, love more, pay off debt, go postal at work, and............invent a sandwich.........