How bout this heat???????????

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)
http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/5742/Dennis_Leary/I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPnv8UvKFzc

So, its about a buck and some change in heat outside. I decide that a delicious bowl of chicken and sausage gumbo with jalapenos floating on top would be great to combat the humidity. In my defense, Mc Alister's Deli makes the best food ever so I had to try it. And they have world renown sweet tea........but I just had an ice water :-/
I don't know if its the heat or if I've finally drank myself stupid or if stress has finally broke the proverbial camel's back but all day long I felt like I was crawling outta my skin. I finally got back in the gym on monday after two weeks of traveling and eating restaurant food and plenty of beer. I hate that first day back. You go all Gung-Ho for about 2 minutes and then wake up with Hans giving you mouth to mouth. The worst part about working the man-boobs is that you're sore for a few days and you can't tell if you're sore or having a f*cking stroke in both arms. Yeah, that's probably the reason I was crawling outta my skin. Well, that and I've got a cumulative 4 1/2 hours of sleep in the past two nights as my brain wouldn't shut off........and showtime has soft core porn at 3 am :-/ To counter the loss of my central nervous system, I hit the gym right after work. Gotta push through the pain, people. Afterwards, I was thinking ramen noodles or real food. Real food won and where do I go? Mongolian BBQ. Glutton for punishment am I. I've never been there before and luckily it was pretty much empty cause I hate the stares of people that have friends whilst I dine alone. Go bunk yerself!!!!! So, they have recipe cards for those of us that have the culinary skill of a hot pocket or burnt bag of popcorn. I grab the Kung Pao Beef and get to work, Emerald-style, BAM!!!! Its like $12 for dinner and the bowl appears small. Time to get creative. I pack the meat in good, screw the recipe card, I stuff raw meat in my pockets hoping it'll turn to beef jerky ;-) I get to the vegetable part and I'm like a fucking rat just packing that tiny bowl full. I'm compressing and layering like Chef Boy-r-dee. I mix up my sauce and go hang out at the grill watching the gentlemen do their thang. I get back to my table, which is always in the bar even when I'm not drinking cause I hate unruly little junior s.o.b and his scumbag parents that don't control him, and just dig in. Oh, kung pao, how you taste so good and burn so bad. I'm three bites in and on my fifth glass of water looking for the waitress to bring me more. Delicious. At the high top next to me are three girls that work there and eventually one of them get the cajones to start some chit-chatting with me. I just gave her the hand and kept eating (not really but its like the third time the staff at a restaurant opens up with "why you here by yourself?", isn't it obvious I have no friends????) :'-( I get done with my bowl, to the last bit of food and the waitress comes over and, mind you I told her it was my virgin trip to the M-BBQ, asks me if I'd like another bowl. F*cking-A!!!! Its all you can eat at dinner time. When she picked herself up off the floor, I politely told her that I was stuffed and wouldn't be needing another bowl.......and to put some ice on that shiner ;-P Well, lesson learned............or is it? I'd probably be the same pack rat anyhow cause I'm not interested in making six trips to the grill and having to tip each time lest you get a spitter.
Well, time to get back to saving the world, xbox-style, before blockbuster hunts me down to return this game........................give peas a chance...............