Money-money-money........MONEY!!!!..................

Britney Spears said it best, "Gimme More", and that's my story. Got a Christmas bonus today so Tiny Tim can get those new "magic" legs that Forrest Gump sponsors. Actually, I'm heading to Vegas in two days so I'll probably blow it all on strippers and beer. Yup, Bachelor Party part 2 is coming up. Part 1 was a ton of fun, from what I can remember. Ol' Mother Nature almost put da kalbosch on the festivities as the Mother of All December Shit-Storms decended on the region. Luckily, my boy drives a turbo-charged 1/2 ton dually. That's just giving Mother Nature the ol' stink-eye. However, she got me back as I broke my out-of-shape back shoveling snow for the Entertainers. All gave some........some gave all ;-) I am the Rambo of Bachelor Parties. Well, in other news, due to the arrival of a Crimbo Bonus, there will be gifts under the tree for all my loved ones at the Miller Lite Brewing Company..........j/k. You know what the best part of buying Xmas gifts is? Realizing that you're totally saving money on not having a significant other to buy for. You know what the worst part of buying Xmas gifts is? Realizing you don't have a significant other :-( Honestly, I bet that's why egg nog has an alcohol content. Drink away the pain and still keep the xmas spirit.........................

Aunt Flow's visit..............

Well, time for my monthly post. I'm sorry for being so delinquent. My home computer was being gay with an Internet Explorer add-on that was hijacking my shit. I'm virus free for the new year :-D
Anywho, so, what's happening? Well, same old same old with a dash of bitters. Work almost sabotaged my Thanksgiving and ruined my Black Wednesday. I'm very much looking forward to quiting this job. Not a good attitude to have but I'm on the back end of a sixty day bender so I really don't care. Got some up coming events that should be blog worthy. Got a company Xmas party this Friday, a bachelor party this saturday and a continuation of said bachelor party in Vegas next week. Then, there's the holidays. I am looking forward to the immediate future as I'm pug-sitting for my pregnant sister so I'll have a couple of hellions running my life. Honestly, I'm looking forward to the company. Its not that I haven't been getting out and about lately but I need a reason to stay in and relax, other than a severe hangover.
Anyhow, the downward spiral continues and again my apologies for not blogging lately. I'll put it in my new year's resolutions ;-)...............................

Back by unpopular demand..............

Well, I've been called out for not posting enough. Believe me, its not that I haven't had the content, just not the time. So, let's get a quick recap, Purdue football is blowing goats, my bro threw a killer halloween party, work is getting quirky and I just got back from Mexico City (see pics below). The love life is still non-existent. The apartment is still unpacked. Things left unsaid are.........um........unsaid. I think this post shall be a rant of epic proportions. You know my m.o., begin at the beginning and end at the end.

This football season's been fun. I made it to breakfast club a couple of times and it was great. Got some good pics and what not. Got a girl's number but couldn't remember our conversation from breakfast club.......awkward. Although, in my defense, starting drinking at 7:30am is not exactly a receipe for memory retention. Anywho, my uncle came out to one and had a blasty and couldn't stop talking about it. Good times. As for Purdue football, they need to pull their collective head out of their bums and play some football. BTFU!!!!!!!

I'm not going to lie, but writing is extremely hard today as I'm exhausted. But, the show must go on. So, my bro threw a halloween party after halloween which was perfect cause all costumes were half off the day after. I went as a giant condom wrapper. As always, we played beer pong until Rocky was beyond hope. Why is it that people who don't drink like to play and are always my partner so I have to get wasted. It was a good time. Oh, side note, I went to the Pacers game the night before and it too was fun. I saw Shaq and Larry Bird from a distance.

Work is getting nutso. A few people quit and management is all shifted all over. I went on a support trip with a co-worker that has a very lazy attitude and it was a disaster. Not for the customer cause I would never allow that to happen. I was so stressed by the end of it that I was ready to quit. I tried talking to my bro about it and he pointed out that I always have a problem with my co-workers and maybe its "me" not "them". I've thought a lot about it and he's loco. I'm sorry but when someone is supposed to be helping and instead remind you that they're leaving the trip early and half-ass it the whole time, it makes me homicidal. Luckily, I just went on another support trip with a co-worker that knows how to pull weight and it was a complete success and revitalized my work outlook. We'll get into that a bit later. I've just been getting pulled in a million directions at work at it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job. My boss, Dan, has been acting funny lately as well and its just not a good combo for me as I'm already a mess. He's hot and cold like day and night. Some days he's cool with me, other's he makes me feel like I'm worthless. Unfortunately, I look for his approval constantly. I know he has a lot going on with work and just getting married. Actually, the whole situation got me to start taking the only other single guy, Neal, out to hangout lately. Which is good b/c he's good people and has a lot of knowledge about the inter-workings of my office. Still, its just a pain at work lately. Even worse so, I'm getting better at my job and the better I get the more I'm mad at my co-workers for their lackluster approach to helping me understand the fundamentals of the product. Believe me, I'm not Superman at work but I know when to hit the grindstone and make life easier for everyone else. I know that everyone has differing work habits and I really need to start accepting that fact. I usually do so long as it doesn't affect my work directly. When it does, I'm not the nicest person (yikes!).

So, I had a bad match.com experience recently. This chick that doesn't have a clue was freaking me out by trying to figure out where I lived when I didn't know jack about her. She didn't even have pics posted on her profile so that made it worse. Honestly, she was wacko. If I had been a chick and her a dude, I probably would've reported her to match.com and been very upset. I was honestly thinking of carrying my piece to and from work just in case. I've almost been ready to give up on match.com. My mate, Neal, is also a member and as we've been hanging out more lately, we've been bouncing match business off each other, which is chicken soup for my soul. I've been sending out a bunch of emails to members and haven't gotten much of a response so that's been a bit of a disappointment. Can't rush love, right? Right????

So, I just got back from Mexico City where I was the Mexican that can't speak Spanish. Fun times, jerks. It was cool though cause I was supporting the last Champ Car race of the season with Neal. Like I said, I had to rebound from that last support trip. Neal's the head support engineer for Champ Car so he was all business and I was able to help out. I needed that confidence booster for work. Mexico City is a trip. I will never understand the traffic patterns. However, my limited exposure to Spanish did apply. We were able to try new restaurants every night. Even when the menu was entirely in Spanish, we were able to roll the dice and not have any food poisoning incidents. Actually, I was quite pleased with my ability to function in a foreign country with a language barrier. However, I was very happy to get home and get some good old Burger King ;-)

Supporting Champ Car was not easy, physically. As it was the last race of the season, there wasn't too many equipment problems. However, walking pit lane all day took a toll on me. Getting old I guess. There were many perks though. Champ Car Girls, Grid Girls and celebrities. I was inches from Frankie Muniz (Malcom in the Middle) and Paul Newman. Oh, side note, I was inches away from Ben Stein on my way out of Indy last Wednesday. He saw that I recognized him and he gave me a smile so I left him alone. He's much shorter in person than I imagined. Anywho, I was glad to get home. I was tired of saying "no español" everytime it was assumed I spoke Spanish. Plus, I was glad to drink beer instead of water but was tired of only drinking bottled drinks and no ice to avoid disease. See the funny, in my opinion, below about the hooker and the elevator and the Patriot's fan. http://www.faceofchampcar.com/

Well, the holiday season is upon us. Suicide season as usually. I've been thinking I should revise my match.com profile to ensure that no one wants a holiday date to avoid loneliness.........although, that's assuming someone would want to date me :-/ Anywho, random photos below. I promise to try to make more of an effort to my blog in the upcoming months. Thanks for reading................


"Oh, and Malcom in the Middle is much smaller in person. That's right, wenches, Frankie Muniz is a driver for the Formula Atlantics series which feeds into Champ Car. He was in the pit stand for the Pacific Coast Motorsports team. He hopes to race Champ Car next year. I thought I recognized him yesterday but he shaved the side of his head really weird and he's got a bad case of acne so I wasn't sure. Neal confirmed it today but I didn't bother him. He did walk right past my left shoulder and the top of his head barely reach my massive shoulder. Call me pathetic but I wasn't going to try for a pic or autograph cause I'm just not that impressed by most people. Also, as Ben will attest, I flew out of Indy on the same flight as Ben Stein on Wednesday. Actually, he was in the line next to me at American Airlines to get boarding passes. He saw I recognized him and smiled in my direction and I left him alone as well. Funny story, he was in line for the 1st class tickets and I was not and I got served before him ;-) As I boarded he was sitting in first class in the isle seat. Again, I didn't bother him cause I'm a dick in most ways, just not that way ;-) Oh and to top it off, a cute chick just winked at me as I got on the elevator. i wish i knew spanish :-/Oh, even funnier story, Neal and I find this classy looking restaurant for dinner and no one there speaks a lick of spanish. Luckily, I have mucho conjoes and a sense of reckless abandonment. We sit down, order our cervezas and stare at the all spanish menu. I repeatedly explained we speak English and the waiter had nothing for us. We order some "arracheras" or something that I thought looked familiar. True, we could've went with fajitas but bunk dat. honestly, my spanish resides from grandma going to the mexican grocery store and me finding out what we are eating. Turns out, we get these awesome flank steaks. I ordered poblano cause I was pretty sure that was "pepper" and I get a green pepper steak. Delicious. Well, the bill comes and I toss 'em my Pi credit card. Well, this guy, who was not our waiter, returns with my bill.........and pardon my english, speaking perfect fucking english!!!!!!!!! *charlie brown time* AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Where was dill-hole when Neal and I wanted to order food. The restaurant's credit card machine was broke. The bill was 428 pesos (ie $42). As I found out from Raul today, the farther away from the border the city, the less likely they are to take greenbacks. So, quite the pickle. Homeboy was happy to point out the nearest ATM, 3 blocks away, and let Neal and I leave the restaurant on the "honor system" to get cash from an ATM (which is only in spanish, YIKES!). Luckily for that restaurant, I've taxed my soul enough at this point in my life. We found a closer ATM and I went back and tossed them 450 pesos. Funnier so, Homeboy asked us where we were from and I said "Indianapolis" to which he responded "Go Pats!" for the Colts loss last Sunday. Only in El Mexico!!!! Oh, not all is fun and games, I busted my ass all day at the track and earned my din-din and cervezas. Oh, and I almost bought non-alcoholic beer from the store on the way back and the clerk, who knew i didn't know any spanish, sensed my liver and pointed out my error so i could go back and get some real cerveza (Tecate). Life probably gets better than this........but..........hahahahahahahaha...........I'm having fun ;-) "

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............................

Capital F to the U to the C to the big K. I've been marooned again. This time in Wichita of all places. I'm just mad cause I'm bored as hell. I could seriously scream my pathetic lungs out right now in the terminal just to see what happens. Ey-yi-yi, life just sucks. I get outta work early after getting my ass handed to me for a couple of hours only to leave the main airport bar cause of this really creepy guy that I didn't want to have to deal with only to find the next bar closes early cause Wichita is so small and po-dunk that they close their airport early on Saturdays. I swear if it wasn't for the free internet connection then I'd go insane. I'm just tired and stressed and fucking lonely. I am excited to go to Denver for the night and be "that guy" that has a 12 hour layover and gets a room for the night and goes to the seedy strip bar by the airport :-D Actually, I am pretty tired so I may just get a jacuzzi suite and plenty of booze and chill for the night. I have to be back at the airport at 5am so I'm not going to the LoDo for the night. I need to get back to Indy cause I'm supposed to be in a go-kart pit crew tomorrow. I'm the "Jack Man". I get to lift the back of the kart so the "Lube Man" can lube the chain. I may burn my face off in a horrible twist of fate ;-)
Anwho, the work trip happened at 4:58pm on Thursday and I left Indy at like 6am Friday so life's been shitty in that manner. I'm just super stressed cause I'm no ARINC 429 expert and have been getting my ass handed to me by people that should know more about it than me. I don't mind too much cause I'm like the ARINC-Deity now. Yes, I may bitchslap you in ways you didn't know possible. But still stressed..........so very stressed...................oh and to top it off, my virginal brother is getting more ass than me and he likes to brag about it :-/ Naw, you know I'm not that petty. Hats off to those taking their tops off ;-) Like I said the other day, I'm just bored.........so very bored.......................

Very bad indeed...............superBad.................

I woke up to the book of revelations written on my arm in eyeliner and blue pen. Thank God they don't tattoo you if you're drunk. Thank God for Chick-fil-A. Well, that was an interesting night. To say the least. I ended up putting my O.A.R. concert dvd on the tele and jamming until the wee hours of the night. Although I should've just called in sick, I'm at work and do not want to be. Actually, when do I ever want to be...............................

just a hint...........

going to be a very.............very...................bad.............night......................c u in da moring............

me homer? you marge?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...................did i ever tell you about the time I beat Nuclear security????????????? policy is that if you smell/reek of alcohol, then "for cause" testing immediately with revoke of unescorted access. well, 1 day I walk into the main gate house and had just popped a Listerene breathe strip to avoid offensive breathe due to the smoke I had on the drive in................a very important supervisor stopped me and a union fuckbag b/c he had smelled "alcohol" between da both of us on the way in....................too funny.............Me, being the brains of the operation ;-) quickly whipped out my pack of breath strips to prove to the undergraduate class of 1979 that me and douchebag were not in fact drunk but victims of a poor ploy to catch Al-Quida (sp?) hahahahahahahaha (ie bin ladin).....(ie alladin)......;-)
anywho, fock me.........fock you.......fock everyone..........pass da bottle..................

shiraz.....shiraz.......sherry..........

hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhaahhahahah.........................perhaps I am drunk..............perhaps I am not.................."She's The Man" might quite possibly be the funniest movie this decade.................perhaps not...........hahahahahahahahahaha.........................Yes, I have decided that my mind is no longer my own. Up is down..........Left is right..............Wrong is Wrong.........but................[yellow tail] Shiraz is delicious........................... ;-)

I fought the law and the law won................

Yup, I've finally drank myself stupid. I'm heading home after a long day of work and got diverted by some cops cause of a prior accident on "dead man's curve" on my way home. I needed new shoes so I stopped by Kohl's to check out the scene. Nuffin for me so I go to head to Shoe Carnival for a real deal. Well, as I carefully exit the parking lot, a two-fer happened. One, some dipshit was taking his sweet ass time coming down the main isle and Two, I had a brain fart. I decided to get out in front of the slow moving truck. Well, unfortunately, my light-weight front-wheel drive car likes to squeal tires in such a situation. Usually, I enjoy sounding like a BAMF! but today I heard someone yell out "Hey", to which I ignored and kept on going. Well, the Marion County officer caught up to me at the next red stop light. Unfortunately, the brain fart was still pending and I have been extremely bored with life in general these days. As I pulled over and prepared to face the officer, I decided I'm not going down without a fight. I was going to stand up for all of us regular joes that get a bad name from assholes that fuck-up like its their job. So, as the officer starts yelling, I start defending my position and explaining the physics of a Toyota Corolla. I remain in an exasperated tone the whole time as the cop keeps heating up. Yeah, no pity party for me. He drops out the ultimate attitude adjuster, "You wanna go to jail?!?!?!?!". I'm not going to even lie, I almost said "yes" just to break the monotony of my day. Instead, I turned into bitch-mode and apologized for everything and agreed with everything the big bad man had to say. Eventually, he did explain that he just came from the accident at Dead Man's Corner where a lady tailgating another car lost control and ran over the lawnmower guy. So, I did understand the copper's position that he'd seen enough today but still, I was in the mood for some jail time. He took my License and Registration back to his car for like two seconds, calmed down and then came back and in a copper way, validated that maybe I wasn't driving recklessly and had made a poor decision in the parking lot that was not worth jail time. Then, he opened his heart to me and explained how tired he was of the traffic-time shift cause of all the accidents he had to deal with and he was switching to third shift. Still, I remained in bitch-mode and gave him all the empathy and sympathy I could without physically handing over my testicles. I took my sweet time getting to the 'Carnival to get new work shoes and then some White Castles for din-din. Eh, rock bottom has never felt so much like home.................................

Oh, your parents would be so proud..........

Well, don't really feel like typing but got some interesting photos from breakfast club for the Purdue vs Central Michigan. It was a crazy morning (cause yes, that's how we do it in West Lafayette). Some dude tried claiming he was more "emo" than me to which I flashed him the spike studded bracelet on my left wrist that was going to be upside his head and he bowed the fuck down!!! BOILER UP!!!!!

So sad, what alcohol does on to the youth of today.............

Long over due..............

Well, sorry for the delay, readers. Life's been trippy, hombre. So much to tell, so very few keystrokes. Where to begin? I got back from the UK in one piece. You'll have to contact me or find me in person for the stories. I got back in time for my boy's father to pass on to a better place. God speed, Mr. Marcisz. Unfortunately, I was not able to make the funeral cause work was sending me off again. It wasn't work's fault, there was shit to do and I am expendable. They hooked me up and allowed me to leave early for Cali so that I could visit my boy, Lenzo, in Vegas. Now before you assume the worse, I wasn't going to Vegas for Vegas, I was going for some chicken soup for the soul. Lenzo and I had a great afternoon the day I left. Reminsing on old time, high school times. It was just great to have someone that knows me so well to talk to. He's been a second brother to me since he became friends with my brother, Ben. Its the little things that makes life tolerable. Ya know?
The traveling, well welcomed, has been taking its toll on me. Shit, I haven't seen the inside of a gym in like five weeks. Been drinking every night. Not out of spite but out of nothing better to do. As I left for yet another work trip, found out that my old high school friend that I haven't spoken to in a while took her own life. I don't know why, not that it matters, but just another brick in the wall. I really don't feel sad and could almost understand why. Fuck me for honesty, but sometimes this life is just harder than it has to be. All that goodwill talk about grass is green and better days, well that adds up to about jack shit most of the time. God speed, Jen Lunsford. May the good Lord take you into his good grace despite any fault.
So, work has been work. I've done my best to still hang with friends that I've made in Indy. Even that's been hard. Yes, it has made me wonder if maybe I need a different job. Nope, I just got to do what I'se gots to do. I found out today from my supervisor that the new VP appreciates me very much and likes me as a person. Good vibe. I also found out in the UK that I'm being taxed so much cause my supervisor doesn't want to do what I was hired to do. It was a bit disheartening cause I thought it would be me and him against the world..........as always, its me against the world. Same old same old. I can take it............I think.........I hope. I have been having some good times in Indy so not all is bleak. Its just hard sometimes trying to establish a life when I'm gone so much. Again, maybe its just what I have to do to get to better times. Or not. I know I'll figure it out.
Funny story, I got hazed in the UK :-D My boy, Dan, had an old photo of me from a Purdue breakfast club where I was cross dressing as a female and the guys in the UK made a "Wanted Dead or Alive" poster of it. Too funny.
Well, I guess there's more to tell but I don't really feel like it. Wait a minute, another good story. I had a support trip when I was in the UK and afterwards I was mending the long day at a pub when the Mexican in me came out and I g-ed (ie stole) an imperial pint glass to bring back to the UK. Then, I get back and Dan wanted to organized a scavenger hunt in a couple weeks. Well, I kept practicing and ganked an ash tray and pen from Fox n Hound. Again, the Mexican in me ;-) Hey, its all in fun and games. I had to sneak the ash tray out in the crack of my ass practically!!!!
Eh, life is what it is...................

How'd you hurt that hamstring? Nam..........

My life is pretty much mostly about new beginnings and trying new things and not missing out on anything. Well, I decided to finally get a massage. I'm at the Eaglewood Resort & Spa for my buddy's wedding. I was at the pool which is next to the spa and got to thinking that I should just do it already. That and maybe it'll relax me so I can get some fuckin' sleep already. I tell you it was a truely remarkable experience. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get too much tranquil time in before the massage cause I had to go to my room to get my credit card and some jackass was holding up the elevator and then I had to change and what not. But once I got under the skillful hands of this Ukranian or Romanian lady, I was butter. I've been having this pain in my rhombizodial muscle and I know she found it cause she paid attention to that spot and asked me questions and what not. Sadly, no happy ending but that's okay too. Although it was nice to have a female touching me. If it had been a dude then I might be telling this story in a different light :-/
Anywho, almost time for wedding rehersal and a steak dinner. Yup, its official, I'm the last man standing. Another one bites the dust and I continue on. Foot steps in the sand...........................

I'm like this big bear with these big f-ing claws and I don't know how to kill the little bunny rabbit..............

I love being me. So, we have this ice cream social at the office building for all the companies that share the building, sponsored by the building owner. Well, I lead my band of merry men downstairs for some good ol' ice cream. There's a real estate company on the 1st floor that is composed mostly of women. Yeah, the whole event was like an 8th grade dance. Girls on one side and boys on the other. So, the older ladies send over their youngest female employee to break the ice. Man, it was a sight to see. We didn't even speak to her like she was human. Everyone was tripping over their tongues to talk and there was plenty of foot-in-mouth disease going around. Apparently, I was the most embarassing cause I told her that we were D.A.G.s (data acquisitions guys/geek), which is a term the race world uses and I didn't know that it was derogatory towards the employees. So, after the embarassingly awkward interlude, we go upstairs and I get harangued mercilessly by my co-workers. I had fat dudes telling me they could get a chick better than me. I threw down the gauntlet and said "f-it, let's go to a bar right now", its 3pm in the afternoon :-/ Some of us had already planned on going to happy hour and Dan had gotten this girl, Kelly, business card so without telling anyone, I email her and invite her to happy hour. She accepts and I still keep it to myself. Dan, Jeremy and I go to Fox n Hound and I still keep it inside. When Kelly walked in, Dan's mouth hit the floor!!!! I got a text today from the fat guy giving me props. I've been giggling about it all day. Too hilarious. Yeah, Kelly's okay but she's got a man and what not and I don't think she's in to me or vice versa. The guys in the office did get a laugh over her business card b/c its got a glamour shot of her on it. Seriously, she doesn't look half as hot in person. Weird. Anywho, the good news is that the Stiffmeister still has the proveribal "it"......................

I'm a riot? You're a fucking riot!!!!! Get it..............

Okay, this shit is long overdue. Eye-yi-yi, where to begin? Last Thursday rocked hanging with Travis in Broad Ripple. Didn’t stay out late cause had to work on Friday but got caught up on his awesome honeymoon details. I need to get married already just for the honeymoon part. Oh, and the Miller Chill girls were out an about so I got a ton of free fake tats and a t-shirt. Travis, Jeff and I made plans to meet up again on Friday in Broad Ripple. Work was same old same old and my buddy, Dan, expressed interest in grabbing a beer that night. So, I figure the more the merrier. By the time everyone came out we had a small table rockin’ with like seven peps at the Broad Ripple Tavern (BRT). It was an awesome night. Couple of Irish Carbombs and good stories told all around. We met up at like 8pm, around 11pm the Hotties came out. My buddy, Neal, and I are the last people at Pi that are single so Dan busts our chops so the married folk can live vicariously through us :-D He was disappointed on Monday cause I didn’t make Neal, a shy Brit, talk to any girls but I’m just not that guy. I let others get into their own mess cause I’m too busy rollin’ in mine.
So, the night ends well and I figure that was the high point of my weekend. Hmmm………nope. I wake up torn on Saturday and just kinda lie around watching tv and nursing my hangover. I was supposed to go to a Highlife club interview but I don’t need to interview or pay for friends so I say “fuck shoes!!!!” (if you know anything about Dane Cook and his history with shoes then you’ll understand). Well, I was expecting Highlife to call me all preachy and bitchy for missing my interview so when I got a phone call from a strange area code, I had no trouble ignoring it. That was until the same number called my work phone. My buddy Cory was trying to get ahold of me and my bro hooked him up with my work number. Good thing cause Cory had an extra ticket to Dave Mathews’ concert. Awesomeness just tossed in my lap. So, I pull myself together and meet up with Cory and his friend to go to the Verizon Wireless ampitheater. The weather is awesome, got the faux hawk rockin’ and am ready to groove. Well, Dave was in town the night before so the parking lot was quite interesting. The remains of the day were used condoms and broken beer bottles everywhere. Very nice. Glad I was wearing my Docs and not flip flops like the rest of the hippies. Oh, yeah, the fuckin’ hippies. I thought they got suppressed during the 80s but apparently not. This one guy was flailing about like an idiot, and was probably stone sober just retarded. Anywho, more importantly, the line for the bathroom was a breakdown in civilization. I’m talking just madness. Fights breaking out left and right, chicks trying to sneak into the men’s stalls cause their line was horrendous (we booed them out though). All in all, it was madness, but I was able to get my drunk on and not get into any fights and get home safely. That’s all that mattered. Dave was good but I haven’t listened to his music in so long that I didn’t recognize any of the songs…..well that and I was shitfaced drunk. I got to the point where I contemplated hurdling myself down the lawn to see how many people I could knock down with my limp body. The only thing stopping me was reliving the image of the girl that puked her brains out in an empty beer cup and then spilled the cup on the lawn. Very gross. I was pretty sure that the cure for cancer was festering on that lawn.
To go to Dave, I had to cancel a hanging out appointment with my friend, Ashley. I promised to make it up on Sunday and she had free tickets to the State Fair. So, away I go again. This time, replace hippies with ghetto/white trash and expensive beer with expensive food. My friend Ashley works for Watson’s so we went with some of her coworkers to the Fair. Got some Indiana Beef ribeye steak sandwiches, very delicious. We walked around for a while and then made our way over to the Watson’s booth where they had a ton of expensive Jacuzzis. They have this one with a 27 inch plasma screen that retracts into the side, very cool. At the main stage there was demolition derby’s going on and we got suckered into the mayhem. I tell you, America just has a love for violence. And you don’t think you’re that way until you hear an engine revving up and then see the collision of metal on metal. This one car was all banged up and could barely move so the driver decided to blow the engine. He was revving it like made until finally it just smoked out. The crowd was cheering him on………and then the whole engine compartment caught fire with a “poof”. The driver was able to scramble out the windshield and only injured his arm from landing on it wrong. It was wild. Death was definitely in the air……..along with waffle cakes ;-)
The fair ended well with a rain storm and an hour long firework finale. I think God wanted to join in cause he kept flashing lightning to compete with the man-made fireworks. It was a good end to the weekend of madness………..oh………..but it didn’t end. Travis and Kara had invited me to tailgate for the Colts vs Bears preseason Monday night game. Giddy-up!!! So, I extended an invite to Ashley who returns the favor with free tickets to the game from the Vice Principal at the school she works at. It rained a monsoon on Monday so traffic was all jacked up trying to get down to the RCA dome but no matter. It was my first NFL experience ever so I was pretty stoked even if it was just preseason. It was hard to not cheer for the Bears but I was in Colts-country and didn’t want my ass rearranged, I like it just the way it is. It was a nice way to end a crazy weekend of shenanigans and fool-hardy fun. I guess the sun does shine on every dog’s ass someday………………………………………

Activate the "Asset"......................

The Bourne Ultimatum freakin' rocks!!!!!! As is status quo with the series, the fight scenes are well sculpted and make you want to learn how to be a BAMF like Jason Bourne..........in the fictional sense. But here's my plan, I'm going to start to treat my everyday life like I work for a government agency. Seriously, I'm going to start by ending my phone calls with open-ended statements instead of good bye and then just hanging up. When I exit my vehicle, I'm going to put my wrist to my mouth and say "Target acquired........moving to higher ground". When I exit a building, I'll stand in the doorway and scope out the area and upper floors of buildings before moving towards my vehicle. As I approach my vehicle, I'll break into a faster pace and wrist to mouth say "Team 1 is on the move". Yeah, this is going to be fun. As my poll indicates, I have no mind to lose so I might as well enjoy my time here on earth.

Since when did they start allowing crippled people to play college ball? Not in MY day, I tell you. Actually, I'd remove my false leg and throw it at someone.

College football season is upon us people. Let's not kid ourselves, I don't expect all of you to make it back. Actually, I'm freakin' stoked just thinking of the tailgating, the mayhem, the awesome hits and watching ESPN every morning to get the latest catch phrase of the week. Apparently, USC is going to wipe their proveribal butts with every opponent this season and that includes ND. Yeah, I said it, so what, you wanna make something of it? See the link below.

http://insider.espn.go.com/ncf/preview07/insider/news/story?id=2974596&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines&action=login&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fncf%2fpreview07%2finsider%2fnews%2fstory%3fid%3d2974596%26campaign%3drss%26source%3dESPNHeadlines

Anywho, Boiler Up, baby..........................

Puppy dust and candy canes.................

Ironically interesting article:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2007-08-14-risky-20s_N.htm

I'd like to point out that while I'm bringing sexy back, I'm going to made some headway on that 26-29 year old drinking statistic. We can binge better than that, people!!!! ;-P

Personally, I've never considered Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears to be a spokesperson for my generation or the generation coming up behind me. Unfortunately, they validate the article. More so, they validate the misconception and assumption of the article. At 18 yrs old, you can go to war. Doesn't mean you're ready to kill someone. At 21 yrs old, you can legally drink in a bar. Doesn't mean you've got to be a ragin' alcoholic. I won't deny that the article and society has a trend and statistics to back it up. However, 30 is the new 20 so in ten years those statistics will apply to 30-somethings. Or maybe they already do. I think that you deny yourself the opportunity to gain understanding by putting on the blinders of age. Age is just a number. Its either high or low depending on your perspective. I feel that its about the experiences during that timespan that shape your being. Am I any less risky at 27 than 18, nope. Do I make better decisions, perhaps. Do I still hold true to the same ideals, fuck yeah. Bob's your uncle. At 27, I know that I'm more well-rounded and mal-adjusted than I was at 21-25 (i'm a very conflicting person, yin-yang). Voluntarily, I had dragged myself through a lot of muck n mud and walked the line to hell and back alone. Sure I had friends to listen to me along the way, but I didn't have any advice given to me. I had spend a lot of time just analyzing over and over again the decisions, the possible outcomes, the damage that can be done and then test my own constitution. There was no final answer......well, the number 4 showed up a lot, but that's neither here nor there ;-) But that's just the life I've always chosen to live, regardless of my age.

So back to the article and the misconception. There are people in this world that are destined to fuck up fast and furious (enter Miss Lohan). There are people that wrap themselves in a false world and then forget to pay the electric bill and lights out (enter Miss Spears). Others, just don't care and are happy being empty (enter Miss Hilton). Then, there's the rest of us, there's you, the reader. Regardless of your age, who you are is who you made yourself to be. If you can look in the mirror and smile, good for you. If you can't, do something about it. And if you wear blinders, you'll never see me..............................

Wombat! Wombat! Wombat!

I go to the pool on Saturday to get in some sun-time. I end up being surrounded by a bunch of Purdue frat boys. I was being cordial cause I was hitting on their women ;-) They kept talking about this "wombat". Eventually the wombat came out. Basically, you take a box wine, remove the bladder and bong it. That's a wombat in a nutshell. It was fun but a dozen tall boys, a few wombats and 102 degree heat make for a passed out on the futon rocky :-/ I woke up at four in the morning like "WTF?!?!?!". At least I made it home but I lost my porno drink koozie that I got in Lake of the Ozarks :-(

Friday was pretty kool. I was in need of a drinking buddy but couldn't find one so I went to Fox and Hound for dinner and a few brews. They were having a Three Olive vodka special and if you ordered a Three Olive drink you got a free martini glass. The really cool martini glass from the magazine advertisements. Looks kinda like this but not colored and sharper lines.

Anywho, so basically everyone is bat shit crazy and I'm at a loss of what to do. Well, besides drink heavily :-/ Its not that I seek out trouble but that it pretty much knows where I'm at all the time. And it seems that history is definitely doomed to repeat itself. Fuck, I'm exhausted today. I don't even feel like blogging but wanted to tell the wombat story. Too much shit is going on and I'm still trying to sort it all out.

Okay, funny story, so I was pretty depressed on Friday and didn't stay out late cause I had beers at the apartment. Earlier in the day, I had gotten a matches email from match.com and had shot out a few emails. Well, foolishly, this one girl emailed me back and asked me to "tell her about myself". Big mistake on both our parts. She opened the flood gates and I was sauced enough to not care. I think I apologized halfway through the email for the rant :-/ Yeah, I haven't heard back from her and don't think that I will. But its a good story to tell :-D

Anywho, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.............the pursuit of happiness.............so long as the world agrees with your "happiness"..........................

Would you think that if I were Jewish..............

What I like most about Friday is going to work and looking like your doing work but not actually doing work. Like right now, I’m typing this blog in Microsoft Word so should someone approach me from behind, it looks like I’m typing a work related document when in fact I’m being as useless as a toad on a bump on a log on a side of a hill on a cool summer day on this planet. Wow, that’s a rant if I’ve ever seen one.
Okay, let’s get this meeting of the Legion of Doom to order. 1st on the agenda, Yats. Seriously, if you ever find yourself in the Indy area, get to Yats. It’s the best Louisiana creole this side of the Mason-Dixon line. I filled up on the good stuff last night before heading to the bar. My newly acquired friend, Ashley, and her friends have a Thursday night haunt at Joe’s Grille. It’s a pretty cool sports bar that has live music & $5 huge pizzas on Thursday. And some nice eye candy too ;-) I have finally met my better. Ashley’s friend, Robert, introduced himself as an “asshole”, which is my usual introduction, so I said I’m the bigger asshole and he put the kibosh on that by openly commenting on every chick’s chest at the table. But I have to give him props cause he got on stage and sang a chorus to Family Tradition with the band. You know what I like about the 80s? They can’t keep their hair. Old man river, who was the lead singer’s dad, was on drums and he had an 80’s glam-rocker white man’s afro that was straight outta the “Monster’s of Rock” commercial. And he could sing “Ice Ice Baby” and “Baby’s Got Back” really good. It was a really fun night and the free cigarettes dude was there so I got a free back and free tickets to see Drowning Pool next Thursday at the Vogue in Broadripple. Very nice. Let the proverbial bodies hit the simulated floor, my homies. Oh, almost forgot about the asscrack beer. This dude apparently thought he need both hands free to flail about on the dance floor so he stuck his Michelob Ultra in the back of his pants. He kept trying to entice everyone at my table, guys, girls, whomever, to get out on the dance floor. Yeah, I’m always down to shake my rump-shaker but not with this tool. I kept hoping the beer would explode like a fountain but it didn’t.

Here’s little delicious nugget of internet for you. Go head, put it in your mouth ;-)
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/capessa/729/how-to-cope-with-the-jerk-at-work

Oh, almost forgot, there were some Cougars out last night. But there were with the bikers. I think the club was "Iron Pigs" of Indianapolis or something like that. Yeah, I didn't feel like getting monkey-stomped on the dance floor so I focused on the asscrack beer.

What is wrong with this picture.................

http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/news/story?seriesId=99&id=2951523&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines

I can't score a puma or a cougar with Ol' Man River cock-blocking with his billions of dollars. The system is just so unfair. And to be honest, what's her deal that she can't score tail her age or younger. She's cute.......enough......;-P Naw, seriously though, talk about some "daddy's little girl" complex. Why at 26 yrs old you'd want old man junk is beyond me. And read the story, he's no better than a 26 yr old male. "Its in her best interest to move to another team................so I can scam on the next young squirrel coming into racing". Used, abused and tossed aside. Screw it, I'm going to say it, the problem with women is that they are so naive. Its not about being over-trusting, its about not seeing the writing on the wall. Or having a clue in life too. Believe me I'm not bitter, but I just get tired of hearing the same sad story over and over. I don't have sympathy anymore for that type of crap. If you're not smart enough to say "hey, what would a 50 yr old man want with a young, hot, rising star like me" well then see you in the funny pages cause your career is ov-fa!!!!
Or, perhaps, I'm missing the boat. Perhaps this is the way to live life. I think I'm going to refine my search for a suitable partner to find a Suga Momma. Yeah, I'll trade in my self-respect for a credit card with no limit. On second thought, mail-order-bride........yeah......that's the ticket.............and when I turn 50, I'll trade her in for a 25 yr old....................

The hits keep on coming........................................
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/WhoPays.aspx#pageTopAnchor

Finally an article that speaks the truth. Gotta hold yourself like you're the luckiest person in the room no matta what.............................
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6715&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&gt1=10287

Here, kitty kitty, c'mere..........................

Vindicated!!!! It doesn't happen often but every now and then and again, my rants are vindicated by the Internet or other reliable source. So, if you remember my cougar story from Denver, not only have I found "Cougar Hunter" t-shirts, mine's on order, but the terminology is morphing to my age group, "Puma":

Urban Word of the Day
http://www.urbandictionary.com/
August 09, 2007: puma
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=puma&defid=423941
An attractive woman in her late 20s or early 30s.
She is a pre-[cougar]/[urban cougar].
"I think that puma just grabbed my ass."

Yes, let it soak in........marinate your brain if you will............delicious. I might have to go hunting this weekend ;-)

Want To Buy: a good night's sleep.
Good news, I'm officially a zombie. I do think I've finally lost it, not that I ever had it, but its definitely gone. I have been awake every night this week till 3 or 4am and still made it into the office by 8am and still hit the gym harder than peps younger than me. I joke that I thrive on coffee and personal anguish to get through the day but that's starting to become true. I was at Walgreens getting advil to counter the central nervous system breakdown and they have SleepMD stuff at the counter. I should look into it cause I can pop a dose of Simply Sleep and then go for a six hour drive not even being drowsy. I dunno, my brain just won't shut down in the evening. Well, maybe it was that I saved the world from Nazis last night, no thanks to Canada....jerks. There's that new "restless legs syndrome" out now, perhaps I have the full-body version. And on top of all of that, I have very bad Deja vu all the time. Well, last night I did a quick match.com search before heading to bed to not go to sleep and had a 36-yr old black man show up in my matches. At first I thought it was a glitch but from the short preview that appears in the search list, he stated that he wanted a man by his side at night.....freak.............and this triggered my Deja vu. My supervisor is outta da office on a fishing trip and I've been bombarded every day this week with customer support crap and getting mind-jobbed by the UK engineers. In the deja vu, I see the match.com freak and the next day my supervisor is in the office, having cancelled his trip early to get back to the office to help the customers like as if i've been doing a bad job and then I get in trouble and laid off in the near future. I was pissed at myself last night b/c in my head I told myself just go to bed and don't bother with the search. True to form, I end up with bad thoughts and another restless night. Well, you know what they say "a pug a day keeps the voices out of my head.............seriously........"...............................

How bout this heat???????????

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)
http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/5742/Dennis_Leary/I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPnv8UvKFzc

So, its about a buck and some change in heat outside. I decide that a delicious bowl of chicken and sausage gumbo with jalapenos floating on top would be great to combat the humidity. In my defense, Mc Alister's Deli makes the best food ever so I had to try it. And they have world renown sweet tea........but I just had an ice water :-/
I don't know if its the heat or if I've finally drank myself stupid or if stress has finally broke the proverbial camel's back but all day long I felt like I was crawling outta my skin. I finally got back in the gym on monday after two weeks of traveling and eating restaurant food and plenty of beer. I hate that first day back. You go all Gung-Ho for about 2 minutes and then wake up with Hans giving you mouth to mouth. The worst part about working the man-boobs is that you're sore for a few days and you can't tell if you're sore or having a f*cking stroke in both arms. Yeah, that's probably the reason I was crawling outta my skin. Well, that and I've got a cumulative 4 1/2 hours of sleep in the past two nights as my brain wouldn't shut off........and showtime has soft core porn at 3 am :-/ To counter the loss of my central nervous system, I hit the gym right after work. Gotta push through the pain, people. Afterwards, I was thinking ramen noodles or real food. Real food won and where do I go? Mongolian BBQ. Glutton for punishment am I. I've never been there before and luckily it was pretty much empty cause I hate the stares of people that have friends whilst I dine alone. Go bunk yerself!!!!! So, they have recipe cards for those of us that have the culinary skill of a hot pocket or burnt bag of popcorn. I grab the Kung Pao Beef and get to work, Emerald-style, BAM!!!! Its like $12 for dinner and the bowl appears small. Time to get creative. I pack the meat in good, screw the recipe card, I stuff raw meat in my pockets hoping it'll turn to beef jerky ;-) I get to the vegetable part and I'm like a fucking rat just packing that tiny bowl full. I'm compressing and layering like Chef Boy-r-dee. I mix up my sauce and go hang out at the grill watching the gentlemen do their thang. I get back to my table, which is always in the bar even when I'm not drinking cause I hate unruly little junior s.o.b and his scumbag parents that don't control him, and just dig in. Oh, kung pao, how you taste so good and burn so bad. I'm three bites in and on my fifth glass of water looking for the waitress to bring me more. Delicious. At the high top next to me are three girls that work there and eventually one of them get the cajones to start some chit-chatting with me. I just gave her the hand and kept eating (not really but its like the third time the staff at a restaurant opens up with "why you here by yourself?", isn't it obvious I have no friends????) :'-( I get done with my bowl, to the last bit of food and the waitress comes over and, mind you I told her it was my virgin trip to the M-BBQ, asks me if I'd like another bowl. F*cking-A!!!! Its all you can eat at dinner time. When she picked herself up off the floor, I politely told her that I was stuffed and wouldn't be needing another bowl.......and to put some ice on that shiner ;-P Well, lesson learned............or is it? I'd probably be the same pack rat anyhow cause I'm not interested in making six trips to the grill and having to tip each time lest you get a spitter.
Well, time to get back to saving the world, xbox-style, before blockbuster hunts me down to return this game........................give peas a chance...............

Monday exists to mock us of the weekend lost........

Well, sometimes. I finally got out an did something this weekend. Even though I was still heat stroked, I took my parents out an about in downtown Indy. There's this canal walk area that rocks for walking. The canal is shallow and if you want to be a sucker you can rent a paddle boat and go nowhere under your own girl-like paddle strength. However, if you have a can of worms, you're a king amongst men on the canal walk..........or at least to the fishys. There were a ton of fish, big and small, and they had my dad hooked as everytime he stopped they would approach him and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. In hindsight, perhaps he shouldn't have stuck his head in the water.......or I shouldn't have suggested it, he can be very gullible. Naw, but there were a ton of fish and they were watching us. Seriously. They would track your movement along the banks. Maybe people do go down there and feed them worms. Maybe they're Al Quida fish and they're planning a hostile takeover of the Peyton Manning, whatever, its none of my business. My dad came across some poor bastard of a worm. After fat-fingering the retrieval of the worm for like two minutes, he found the hungriest group of fish to toss it the worm too. Oh, the horror......the horror. Real bloodbath for such a small worm. After the canal we strolled around the Monument circle downtown and then had lunch at Johnny Rockets. Very nice time. After the folks left, I resumed my position on the allied front and took on Hilter. This time it was personal........ After waking in a trench I dug in a drunken stupor on my living room floor, I decided that beer and xbox don't mix. Just kidding, on the beer and xbox part ;-) I decided to again force myself outta my domicle and went to see "Live Free or Die Hard". Bruce Willis can father my children so that they may have a chance in this world if terrorism ever becomes real and not just a proproganda technique to raise the price of gas. As a matter of fact, Bruce, go squeeze out a few and I'll cover the cost. Oh, but can I date your daughter? Okay, just throwing that out there. No need to get snippy about it. Seriously, go see the movie and you'll understand.
Finally got my fatass back in the gym after a two week hiatus. Got in some good exercise and decided to celebrate with BW3 wings, buffalo chips and good ol' Miller Lite. My cousin sold me a discount card, that he may or may not have made himself in his basement, yeah, Pop Warner my hairy cheek, and it took a manager and two employees fifteen minutes to figure out if I could use it at that location. That 15% off of food only tasted extra sweet.........especially knowing how much they jack the price of beer there. The waiter abandoned me mid-wing and I was running outta beer to cool the flames. So, I took matters into my own hands. It was empty in there so I went to the bar myself to get another round and the bartender got a chuckle when I asked for a refill like it was a pop. I even had a chuckle when I got back to my delicious wings. On my way home, I was jamming to some Metallica and as I entered my complex I had Sublime pumping. Short lived however as there were two squads sitting with no lights and no drivers in the parking lot. No need to provoke them and I think my "F*ck da Po-lice" bummer sticker really gets the point across (j/k!). Yeah, probably just the standard domestic violence going on. You know, she has to be told twice and damaged his hand whilst receiving the black eyes. Okay, baby jesus is crying after that remark. Yikes!!!! Its called "baby benadryl", baby jesus ;-)
Well, you can see that I'm back and still as ridiculous as ever. Its all I'se gots..............................

And the Wichita Lineman is still on the line ...........

Well, I was back in the office for two glorious days before being shipped back out to the front lines. For God, Country...........and Pi Research, sir, yes, sir!!!! I like to compare myself to Rambo, First Blood part II, I'm expendable. So expendable that the reason I head off again was b/c the customer dictated one line in an email "We'd like someone from Pi here to see the occurrence". Its all good though b/c I got a handshake and an "atta boy" on Monday when I got back from the new VP and him and my boss asked if they could clone me to help with the new business they stirred up at the Oshkosh avionics expo (where a person died doing stunts in a P-51 Mustang plane and another died enroute to the expo, google it). So, I was home long enough to wash my clothes from the previous trip and repack them. I did, however, score a meet and greet for cocktails with a teacher from match.com on Tuesday so the week wasn't all lost. We went to this fancy restaurant on the Geist Reservoir off 96th street and it was a beautiful day. Perfect weather to sit out by the cabana with a cold beer and good conversation. The reservoir is really nice. Not too big and not too small. I hear they have "Party Cove" style action where everyone ties their boats together in coves and parties their ass off :-D I need to get a small boat next year. Or maybe I'll just strap on a couple floaty noodles and take my changes :-) So, I head out the next morning for good o' Wichita. Again, faced with the scumbags of the airline industry. Freakin' jag off at United wasted everyone's time relaying a story to his boss instead of printing our checked bag tickets. Oddly enough, I go get breakfast at the American Bandstand restaurant and some dude is starting his morning trip with a cold beer. Swear it wasn't me ;-) I fly up to O'hare b/c there's no direct flights to anywhere from Indy. I have 1 hr layover to trek damn near a mile from the far end of terminal B to the far end of terminal F. Thank you very much United. I needed the exercise and stress.
Hello, Wichita. Too many airports and extremely hot. Especially being stuck on the side of a runway monitoring wind and gps equipment while the plane does ground effects. I swear to Miller Lite, the biggest horseflys you've ever seen. And they were just staring at me from inside our van that we left the doors open to. They were just licking there chops looking at this brown sugar. I think one of the even winked at me. FLY's DON'T HAVE EYE-LIDS!!!!! Or, maybe it was something else. I dunno, this heat's driving me crazy........(what movie is that a line from? and "go").
Wichita was a little more fun for me. The environment was the same, getting blamed for everything, but at least this time the guys took me out for fun. We hit up this bar/entertainment place near their hotel for drinks and pool on wednesday night. Very nice. Everyone's a little more honest when drunk. The key is to be the soberest. Especially around clients. These guys were kool though and appreciated Pi's product and gave me the low down on those that didn't. We got some good tests done on Thursday and things looked promising. These dudes were from Tulsa, OK and had been in Wichita for 4 1/2 months. Yeah, total cabin fever. They had a DD every Thursday for "guy's night out" ;-) I'll tell ya, a classy gentlemen's club is nice but every now and then and again, you've got to get a dive in your system to appreciate the finer ones. But its always a good time if you know what you're doing.
I got home without too much trouble but late on Friday. Exhausted from having spent a day in a van in sweltering heat on the side of a runway, I got a video game, "Call of Duty 3", and a case of tall-boys and sat down to save the world yet again. Then at 4am I got to catch Romper Stomper on showtime. If've you never seen that movie then you don't know what you're missing. Its about neo-nazi's led by Russell Crowe in the eighties in Australia. Very nice................

bye, bye, plane..........bye, bye..............

Well, I made it back from Denver, despite Frontier Air's best efforts............and my own penchant for beer :-/ I got out of work early and did the tourist-thing in Denver. Took pictures by Mile High Stadium, went down to Union Station and to complete the trifecta, burned my elbow waiting for a Denverite to snap my pic posted up on a statue in front of the Rockies Stadium. Well, then, my sixth sense (aka spidey-sense) picked up on a beer special at the rooftop patio bar across from the stadium (god bless Jackson's bar). Ya-da-da-da.................I'm doing free shots with the two female bartenders, one of which was a self-proclaimed "cougar". Very nice ;-) So, I get to the airport and have a 2 hr wait for my plane. God bless the Sky Blue Bar. Hot dog and beer on special. Sixer of each later...........naw, just a couple. I end up talking to some guy at the bar who turns out to be a Hoosier. Well, had to Boiler-up on him for a bit. I leave to catch my plane and sit down to wait for my boarding. Those of us that know, know that booze and high temps and high altitude don't mix. I get a bit sleepy waiting for my turn to board. Luckily for me, Hoosiers are nice people, just at the wrong college. My newfound buddy woke me up on his way to catch the same flight as me. So, off I am, right? Wrong!!! After taxiing to the middle of nowhere, we turn around and head back to the gate. 45 minutes later, lift off. Everything is now still completely FUBAR as the little kid behind me won't stop kicking my spine loose. I'm not going to lie, when the beverage kart came round, "two beers, please". And I'm against buying beers on planes cause its a total rip off, but its also a sedative ;-) Eventually, things mellowed out and little junior s.o.b came into my row to sit on his grandpa's lap and he was sporting pjs and a pacifier, which made me wonder why I don't travel like that :-P I arrive safe and sound at 1:30am Monday morning, yah!!! Oh, no, no, no. I get home afte 2am, am too wired to sleep and "Beyond the Law" was on t.v. 4am, go to bed, 8am, wake up for work, 10am, time to make the donuts..................

Bringin' sexy back..........

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Every once in a while I'm vindicated. My post about the scumbags flying the friendly skies has been vindicated, girly man!!! Click on the links below pertaining to scumbags making life harder on the rest of us that fly. Thank you, baby jesus.........thank you....................

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17426986/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19735896/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17370000/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16812223/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16831522/

And, for the record, I am a cold-hearted s.o.b., but if my 3 year old got me kicked off an airplane for not taking her seat, I'd be procreating a replacement on that vacation ;-)

Me in a nut shell..........

Beware the overshare in everyday conversations
No subject’s off-limits as we’re getting more accustomed to TMI
By Melissa Dahl
Health writer
MSNBC
Updated: 9:33 a.m. ET July 23, 2007

Like so many of us, Dan Estabrook never even saw it coming.
It was a normal day at work when his office manager called him into her office for a normal-sounding meeting — until she unloaded a not-so-normal nugget of information.
“I wanted to let you know,” she said, “I’ve taken a live-in lover.”
Cue the awkward silence: Estabrook found himself victim of an overshare.
Blurting out too much information, or TMI, is something we’re becoming more and more comfortable with, some psychologists say. We obsess over the mundane details of celebrities’ lives and are eager to tell our own stories on blogs and Flickr accounts. And often, all that online openness seeps into everyday conversations.
Blame it on narcissismOne psychologist blames the influx of the overshare on an increase in individualism — and with that comes a hike in narcissism. We’re oversharing more now because we’re pretty pleased with ourselves, says Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University.
“We just assume they’re going to be interested because it’s about me. Of course it’s interesting!” says Twenge, who is currently working on a book about narcissism among teens and twentysomethings.
But Leslie Reisner, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, is encouraged by all the sharing going on. Calling it narcissism is too negative, she says.
“There’s something healthy about sharing,” Reisner says. “It means they know it’s OK to show vulnerability.”
Spilling personal details can be a sign of self-confidence, Reisner believes, and 32-year-old Todd Enoch agrees.
“When I was younger, I was much more reserved,” says Enoch, who lives in Denton, Texas. “As I’ve gotten older, I’ve broken out of my shell. Now I can share more with people.”
And sometimes, Enoch admits, he ventures into overshare territory. He remembers a scene at work when his co-workers were discussing how happy they were that the T-shirts for an upcoming promotional activity weren’t white.
“I don’t like wearing white things either,” Enoch chimed in, and then blurted out, “I just sweat at the drop of the hat!”
Breaking the iceAfter a statement like that, consider the ice broken. A well-timed overshare can let others know it’s OK to let their guards down, and it can be a speedy way to make a connection with someone, Twenge explains.
“You realize you’re not alone,” Twenge says. “Previously, you might have thought, ‘Am I the only one with this problem?’”
But some say that’s looking at a relationship in a very backward way.
“People that are oversharing may be hoping for a connection with other people,” says Julie Albright, a sociology professor at the University of Southern California. Some people with TMI tendencies may be attempting to take a kind of relationship shortcut, going through the motions of an intimate friendship when there isn’t yet one.
That’s what happened to 29-year-old Becca Johnson during a girls’ night out. Johnson was talking to a friend of a friend whom she’d just met when the woman blurted out that she was having an affair with a former employee.
“In a way, it’s sad because you know they probably don’t have people in their lives to share things with,” says Johnson, who lives in Boston. “Why else would it feel appropriate to share relationship problems with complete strangers?“
Watch where you overshareThe woman’s secret was safe with Johnson, but psychologists say to be picky about who’s on the receiving end of your overshare. Blurting out too much information can be off-putting to some people.
Estabrook, the office worker, was so shocked at his colleague’s overshare that he hardly said a word in response. But should anyone else decide to confront him with a “live-in lover” overshare, he knows what he’d say.
“If someone told me that now, I would probably respond and say, ‘You know, I’m really happy for you,’” says Estabrook, who’s 41 and lives in San Francisco. “‘But I definitely would be careful about what you share with people you don’t know that well.’”
Or, as Twenge puts it, “Not every person you meet needs to know your every problem.”
Wade Stapleton wishes more people would remember that. At the end of a work day, the 42-year-old found himself in an elevator with a woman he’d seen around the office but had never spoken to. Like most elevator exchanges, their conversation focused on the weather — until she took it one step too far.
“Oh, the warm weather doesn’t bother me anymore,” she volunteered cheerfully. “I’m at that age where I have hot flashes.”
And just like that, she’ll forevermore be Hot Flash Lady, at least to Stapleton. “After that conversation, I don’t want to get to know her,” says Stapleton, who lives in Nashville, Tenn. “I know enough about her already.”
Now he’s careful to avoid her at every turn. “When I see her now, I try to go the other way,” Stapleton says.
Hot Flash Lady might do well to take the advice of Enoch, the self-described sweaty guy, who’s figured out a way to structure his oversharing habits. He’s divided his social sphere into three groups — college friends, work friends and church friends — and he knows what he can tell to each group.
“I have friends I can discuss my gastrointestinal activities with, and friends I can’t,” Enoch says.
He pauses.
“That was probably an overshare.”
© 2007 MSNBC Interactive

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19837002/wid/11915773?GT1=10212

Denver nightlife............

I figured I'd save one post for serious work crap and then post another about "Rocky Time" ;-)
I'm the type of person that will try new things but when in strange towns, I find something good and stick with it unless given advice by locals. That being said, I found myself in CB Potts three nights in a row. Delicious microbrews and friendly bartenders. In Denver, maybe all of Colorado, there's no smoking indoors which explains why a 8 month pregnant lady would be a bartender. Seriously, she was big as a house, but very nice. Wednesday, I worked late and there was a bbq in the hangar to celebrate having a plane at the Oshkosh Aviation Expo (where I was supposed to be!!!). Unfortunately, I was neck deep in shit so I had to eat cold leftovers. All that was left were these huge kielbasa looking brats. Filled me right up so I didn't even bother with dinner. Went to the hotel, changed shirts and got to my bar stool. There was a different bartender and I got all "chatty kathy" with her. I was also txting my bro and having a good time. Then, I notice this really loud and annoying lady on the other side of the huge bar. Maybe it was the beer but her and her companions appeared to be pointing and laughing at me. Now mind you, I was faux-hawking it and it would appear I was hitting on the bartender but I had no one else to talk to. I was getting the beer muscle up to go punch out the dude in the group when the bartender came over and told me that she had asked if I was the bartender's boyfriend, to which the bartender told the annoying drunk lady I was her fiance and we're getting hitched this Saturday. I probably should call my mom and let her know I'm coming back from Colorado with a new bride...........nah, she's in Wisconsin Dells and should be bothered ;-) Seriously, though, that's going to end up being my story "went into a bar for a drink and came out hitched".
So, Thirsty Thursday rolls around and I'm back at the bar after more bbq and long hours of work. I needed someone to talk to and figured the only person awake, b/c of the time zone, would be Lenzo. Sure as shit, he's at a work meeting on his day off. I was telling him that this is the type of week of work and travel where you just want to come home to a 30 min bj and then go to bed. He was in agreement, to which I told him to go buy one since he's in Vegas. I'm getting to that age in life where openly paying for sex ain't as disturbing as it used to be. Seriously :-/ Lenzo and I had some good txt-ing and then I left the bar for my crap hole of a hotel room.
Friday rolls around and work was wasted on b.s. which pisses me off b/c if I need support on Saturday no one will be around. I'm expendable so I'll be working while everyone else is enjoying their weekend. I had been eating good lunches and crappy dinners so I decided to splurge on myself. I went to this friggin' huge steak house (http://www.traildust.com/) and saddled up to the bar b/c the dining room was packed with a long wait. Tipping back some Fat Tire brews and gorging myself on the fattest 14oz sirloin I've ever seen. This 7/10 (meaning 7 out of 10) blonde grabs the stool next to me and orders a Tanquery and tonic. I was trying to be friendly and joked "long day?". She wasn't having any of it though. I threw out like three friendly lines and she shot 'em all down with one line responses. Eh, at least I had a huge steak and a cold beer. The part that puzzles me is that she could've sat a few seats down and I wouldn't have bothered saying anything to her. And she kept throwing off body language that she was having a horrible day. You would think if someone is being friendly you'd at least have banter with them. Hmm, its probably b/c I'm mexican :-/ I finished my meal and went to my new room at the Best Western which had a king size bed and a jacuzzi tub in the room!!!!!! I sat around digesting waiting for the witching hour to go out. The Godfather was on the TV and that tub was calling my name. Fudge it, I went to the liquor store for a sixxer and filled the tub and put on some Dixie Chicks, ya know, the ultimate guy's night in :-D Unfortunately, the jets didn't work :-( Unfortunately, I decided to skip testing the water and just stick my foot in to, unbeknownst to me, scalding hot water. I had to soak with my foot out of the water for a while till the nerve receptors forgave me for being a dumbass.
Well, I did my research and a "gentlemen's club" is a possibility for tonight but I honestly don't think I should drop the dough. I'm sure I'll be back here again, probably within a couple months, and I don't have anyone to go with. Plus, the all-nude don't serve liquor so what's the point. Plus-plus, my boss txt me last night and we may be going to Texas in a couple weeks!!!! I know for a fact the clubs down there are the best in the country. I'll save my coin for that. I think I may drive aimlessly to downtown Denver, find a place to park, eat and have a few cold ones and then make my way back to CB Potts (http://www.cbpotts.com/). Who knows, maybe a shenanigan or two on the way....................................

My therapist says the voices will go away............

Dear Reader,
It has been a long week. Where to begin? Hmmm, tough to decide because it hasn't ended. Its a rainy, cloudy Saturday. I find myself chillin' in a small cubicle in an airplane hangar. I know, sounds interesting, no, no it isn't. It has been a long week of back and forth back and forth being the liaison between co-workers in the UK and the customer (www.adamaircraft.com). Let me just get this off my chest, if you don't know what you are talking about then sit down and shut the fuck up. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH, I'm marooned in Denver because there was a valid problem with the serial communication and we haven't proved it resolved yet. Thursday night before I left, another problem arose with a pressure transducer that communicates serially to the DAS (Data Acquisition System). However, this sensor has never had a serial problem before nor did the serial port. But what happens is that once "sheep" find an scapegoat, they beat it like it owes them money. Everything small issue is now somehow associated with the original, valid issue. Oops, cockpit fell off, must be the DAS serial port............WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! So, after enduring Captain Dipshit claiming the sky is falling due to the DAS, I went home. Next day, I watched them prove the transducer was in fact failing. I started to hand out slices of Crow's Pie but then decided it was too delicious and ate it all myself. ;-) Well, all of yesterday was practically lost to working on the transducer, not really involving me too much, and the A700 plane had issues so it couldn't fly, something about a gas leak in the vent line. I could smell the fuel and was joking with a co-worker and he said "Well, don't create any sparks" to which I replied "but I have a 'sparky' personality!!!". Gay, yes, I know but had to have some fun to break the tension and boredom. Anywho, the plane is still grounded today so I'm just here grabbing data sets from the DAS cause they want 10 sets with no failures to prove the system works. Of course that just means I'll leave tomorrow night and it'll break on Monday thus putting me back on a plane Tuesday night. I like the weather in Denver. Every night it rains. You could almost set your watch to the rain. And there's been some impressive lightning displays. I even saw a rainbow hanging out over another hangar the other day. Very nice, God, but you forgot the skittles................................